Eclipse 2

“That was the story of the spirit warriors,” Old Quil began in a thin tenor voice. “This is the story of the third wife’s sacrifice. “Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, when he was an old man, trouble began in the north, with the Makahs. Several young women of their tribe had disappeared, and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf-men could still read each other’s thoughts while in their wolf forms, just like their ancestors had while in their spirit forms. They knew that none of their number was to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah chief, but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began. “Taha Wi led the five other wolves in his pack on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makahs. They came across something they had never encountered before — a strange, sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain.” I shrank a little closer to Jacob’s side. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch with humor, and his arm tightened around me. “They did not know what creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it,” Old Quil continued. His quavering voice did not have the majesty of Billy’s, but it had a strange, fierce edge of urgency about it. My pulse jumped as his words came faster. “They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood, along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for. “The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki. “Taha Wi and his two brothers did not return. “The younger brothers searched for their elders, but found only silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge his sons’ death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him everything that had happened. The Makah chief believed his grief, and tensions ended between the tribes. “A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makahs called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again. “Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taka Aki’s third wife, and the youngest in the pack. He brought something with him that had never been seen in all the days of the Quileutes — a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki’s blood, even those who had never been wolves, could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makahs. “Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but was hard as a granite rock, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature’s arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they came upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered in her blood, and his eyes glowed red. “Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became a victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his other brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creature from the sides, outmaneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them. “But the creature learned quickly, and soon was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta’s brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature’s throat, and he lunged. His teeth tore the head off the creature, but the hands continued to mangle his brother. “Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks, tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed. “Or so they thought. Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature’s granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm piece, trying to reassemble itself. “Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide — some in the ocean, some in the forest, some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again.” Old Quil paused and looked at Billy. Billy pulled out a leather thong from around his neck. Hanging from the end was a small bag, blackened with age. A few people gasped. I might have been one of them. “They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker, and lived in fear that it was not alone. They only had one wolf protector left, young Yaha Uta. “They did not have long to wait. The creature had a mate, another blood drinker, who came to the Quileutes seeking revenge. “The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing human eyes had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village that morning; the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her. “She asked something in a high, piercing voice, in a language no one had ever heard. The people were dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. There was none of Taha Aki’s blood among the witnesses but one small boy. He clung to his mother and screamed that the smell was hurting his nose. One of the elders, on his way to council, heard the boy and realized what had come among them. He yelled for the people to run. She killed him first. “There were twenty witnesses to the Cold Woman’s approach. Two survived, only because she grew distracted by the blood, and paused to sate her thirst. They ran to Taha Aki, who sat in counsel with the other elders, his sons, and his third wife. “Yaha Uta transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as he heard the news. He went to destroy the blood drinker alone. Taha Aki, his third wife, his sons, and his elders followed behind him. “At first they could not find the creature, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drained of blood, strewn across the road where she’d appeared. Then they heard the screams and hurried to the harbor. “A handful of the Quileutes had run to the ships for refuge. She swam after them like a shark, and broke the bow of their boat with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those trying to swim away and broke them, too. “She saw the great wolf on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one white finger and asked another incomprehensible question. Yaha Uta waited. “It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had been. But Yaha Uta was alone — there was no one to distract her fury from him. “When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. He limped forward and shifted into an ancient, white-muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki the Spirit Man, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again. “Taha Aki’s third wife had just seen her son die before her. Now her husband fought, and she had no hope that he could win. She’d heard every word the witnesses to the slaughter had told the council. She’d heard the story of Yaha Uta’s first victory, and knew that his brother’s diversion had saved him. “The third wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men, and she knew they would die when their father failed. “The third wife ran toward the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin, and she was about to deliver the death blow to Taha Aki. “And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker’s feet and plunged the knife into her own heart. “Blood spurted through the third wife’s fingers and splashed against the Cold Woman. The blood drinker could not resist the lure of the fresh blood leaving the third wife’s body. Instinctively, she turned to the dying woman, for one second entirely consumed by thirst. “Taha Aki’s teeth closed around her neck. “That was not the end of the fight, but Taha Aki was not alone now. Watching their mother die, two young sons felt such rage that they sprang forth as their spirit wolves, though they were not yet men. With their father, they finished the creature. “Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe. He never changed back to a man again. He lay for one day beside the body of the third wife, growling whenever anyone tried to touch her, and then he went into the forest and never returned. “Trouble with the cold ones was rare from that time on. Taha Aki’s sons guarded the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. There were never more than three wolves at a time. It was enough. Occasionally a blood drinker would come through these lands, but they were taken by surprise, not expecting the wolves. Sometimes a wolf would die, but never were they decimated again like that first time. They’d learned how to fight the cold ones, and they passed the knowledge on, wolf mind to wolf mind, spirit to spirit, father to son. “Time passed, and the descendants of Taha Aki no longer became wolves when they reached manhood. Only in a great while, if a cold one was near, would the wolves return. The cold ones always came in ones and twos, and the pack stayed small. “A bigger coven came, and your own great-grandfathers prepared to fight them off. But the leader spoke to Ephraim Black as if he were a man, and promised not to harm the Quileutes. His strange yellow eyes gave some proof to his claim that they were not the same as other blood drinkers. The wolves were outnumbered; there was no need for the cold ones to offer a treaty when they could have won the fight. Ephraim accepted. They’ve stayed true to their side, though their presence does tend to draw in others. “And their numbers have forced a larger pack than the tribe has ever seen,” Old Quil said, and for one moment his black eyes, all but buried in the wrinkles of skin folded around them, seemed to rest on me. “Except, of course, in Taha Aki’s time,” he said, and then he sighed. “And so the sons of our tribe again carry the burden and share the sacrifice their fathers endured before them.” All was silent for a long moment. The living descendants of magic and legend stared at one another across the fire with sadness in their eyes. All but one. “Burden,” he scoffed in a low voice. “I think it’s cool.” Quil’s full lower lip pouted out a little bit. Across the dying fire, Seth Clearwater — his eyes wide with adulation for the fraternity of tribal protectors — nodded his agreement. Billy chuckled, low and long, and the magic seemed to fade into the glowing embers. Suddenly, it was just a circle of friends again. Jared flicked a small stone at Quil, and everyone laughed when it made him jump. Low conversations murmured around us, teasing and casual. Leah Clearwater’s eyes did not open. I thought I saw something sparkling on her cheek like a tear, but when I looked back a moment later it was gone. Neither Jacob nor I spoke. He was so still beside me, his breath so deep and even, that I thought he might be close to sleep. My mind was a thousand years away. I was not thinking of Yaha Uta or the other wolves, or the beautiful Cold Woman — I could pictureher only too easily. No, I was thinking of someone outside the magic altogether. I was trying to imagine the face of the unnamed woman who had saved the entire tribe, the third wife. Just a human woman, with no special gifts or powers. Physically weaker and slower than any of the monsters in the story. But she had been the key, the solution. She’d saved her husband, her young sons, her tribe. I wish they’d remembered her name. . . . Something shook my arm. “C’mon, Bells,” Jacob said in my ear. “We’re here.” I blinked, confused because the fire seemed to have disappeared. I glared into the unexpected darkness, trying to make sense of my surroundings. It took me a minute to realize that I was no longer on the cliff. Jacob and I were alone. I was still under his arm, but I wasn’t on the ground anymore. How did I get in Jacob’s car? “Oh, crap!” I gasped as I realized that I had fallen asleep. “How late is it? Dang it, where’s that stupid phone?” I patted my pockets, frantic and coming up empty. “Easy. It’s not even midnight yet. And I already called him for you. Look — he’s waiting there.” “Midnight?” I repeated stupidly, still disoriented. I stared into the darkness, and my heartbeat picked up when my eyes made out the shape of the Volvo, thirty yards away. I reached for the door handle. “Here,” Jacob said, and he put a small shape into my other hand. The phone. “You called Edward for me?” My eyes were adjusted enough to see the bright gleam of Jacob’s smile. “I figured if I played nice, I’d get more time with you.” “Thanks, Jake,” I said, touched. “Really, thank you. And thanks for inviting me tonight. That was . . .” Words failed me. “Wow. That was something else.” “And you didn’t even stay up to watch me swallow a cow.” He laughed. “No, I’m glad you liked it. It was . . . nice for me. Having you there.” There was a movement in the dark distance — something pale ghosting against the black trees. Pacing? “Yeah, he’s not so patient, is he?” Jacob said, noticing my distraction. “Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?” “Sure, Jake,” I promised, cracking the car door open. Cold air washed across my legs and made me shiver. “Sleep tight, Bells. Don’t worry about anything — I’ll be watching out for you tonight.” I paused, one foot on the ground. “No, Jake. Get some rest, I’ll be fine.” “Sure, sure,” he said, but he sounded more patronizing than agreeing. “’Night, Jake. Thanks.” “’Night, Bella,” he whispered as I hurried into the darkness. Edward caught me at the boundary line. “Bella,” he said, relief strong in his voice; his arms wound tightly around me. “Hi. Sorry I’m so late. I fell asleep and —” “I know. Jacob explained.” He started toward the car, and I staggered woodenly at his side. “Are you tired? I could carry you.” “I’m fine.” “Let’s get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?” “Yeah — it was amazing, Edward. I wish you could have come. I can’t even explain it. Jake’s dad told us the old legends and it was like . . . like magic.” “You’ll have to tell me about it. After you’ve slept.” “I won’t get it right,” I said, and then I yawned hugely. Edward chuckled. He opened my door for me, lifted me in, and buckled my seat belt around me. Bright lights flashed on and swept across us. I waved toward Jacob’s headlights, but I didn’t know if he saw the gesture. That night — after I’d gotten past Charlie, who didn’t give me as much trouble as I’d expected because Jacob had called him, too — instead of collapsing in bed right away, I leaned out the open window while I waited for Edward to come back. The night was surprisingly cold, almost wintry. I hadn’t noticed it at all on the windy cliffs; I imagined that had less to do with the fire than it did with sitting next to Jacob. Icy droplets spattered against my face as the rain began to fall. It was too dark to see much besides the black triangles of the spruces leaning and shaking with the wind. But I strained my eyes anyway, searching for other shapes in the storm. A pale silhouette, moving like a ghost through the black . . . or maybe the shadowy outline of an enormous wolf. . . . My eyes were too weak. Then there was a movement in the night, right beside me. Edward slid through my open window, his hands colder than the rain. “Is Jacob out there?” I asked, shivering as Edward pulled me into the circle of his arm. “Yes . . . somewhere. And Esme’s on her way home.” I sighed. “It’s so cold and wet. This is silly.” I shivered again. He chuckled. “It’s only cold toyou, Bella.” It was cold in my dream that night, too, maybe because I slept in Edward’s arms. But I dreamt I was outside in the storm, the wind whipping my hair in my face and blinding my eyes. I stood on the rocky crescent of First Beach, trying to understand the quickly moving shapes I could only dimly see in the darkness at the shore’s edge. At first, there was nothing but a flash of white and black, darting toward each other and dancing away. And then, as if the moon had suddenly broken from the clouds, I could see everything. Rosalie, her hair swinging wet and golden down to the back of her knees, was lunging at an enormous wolf — its muzzle shot through with silver — that I instinctively recognized as Billy Black. I broke into a run, but found myself moving in the frustrating slow motion of dreamers. I tried to scream to them, to tell them to stop, but my voice was stolen by the wind, and I could make no sound. I waved my arms, hoping to catch their attention. Something flashed in my hand, and I noticed for the first time that my right hand wasn’t empty. I held a long, sharp blade, ancient and silver, crusted in dried, blackened blood. I cringed away from the knife, and my eyes snapped open to the quiet darkness of my bedroom. The first thing I realized was that I was not alone, and I turned to bury my face in Edward’s chest, knowing the sweet scent of his skin would chase the nightmare away more effectively than anything else. “Did I wake you?” he whispered. There was the sound of paper, the ruffling of pages, and a faintthump as something light fell to the wooden floor. “No,” I mumbled, sighing in contentment as his arms tightened around me. “I had a bad dream.” “Do you want to tell me about it?” I shook my head. “Too tired. Maybe in the morning, if I remember.” I felt a silent laugh shake through him. “In the morning,” he agreed. “What were you reading?” I muttered, not really awake at all. “Wuthering Heights,”he said. I frowned sleepily. “I thought you didn’t like that book.” “You left it out,” he murmured, his soft voice lulling me toward unconsciousness. “Besides . . . the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I’m discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn’t think possible before.” “Mmm,” I sighed. He said something else, something low, but I was already asleep. The next morning dawned pearl gray and still. Edward asked me about my dream, but I couldn’t get a handle on it. I only remembered that I was cold, and that I was glad he was there when I woke up. He kissed me, long enough to get my pulse racing, and then headed home to change and get his car. I dressed quickly, low on options. Whoever had ransacked my hamper had critically impaired my wardrobe. If it wasn’t so frightening, it would be seriously annoying. As I was about to head down for breakfast, I noticed my battered copy ofWuthering Heights lying open on the floor where Edward had dropped it in the night, holding his place the way the damaged binding always held mine. I picked it up curiously, trying to remember what he’d said. Something about feeling sympathy for Heathcliff, of all people. That couldn’t be right; I must have dreamed that part. Three words on the open page caught my eye, and I bent my head to read the paragraph more closely. It was Heathcliff speaking, and I knew the passage well. And there you see the distinction between our feelings: had he been in my place and I in his, though I hated him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, I never would have raised a hand against him. You may look incredulous, if you please! I never would have banished him from her society as long as she desired his. The moment her regard ceased, I would have torn his heart out, and drank his blood! But, till then — if you don’t believe me, you don’t know me — till then, I would have died by inches before I touched a single hair of his head! The three words that had caught my eye were “drank his blood.” I shuddered. Yes, surely I must have dreamt that Edward said anything positive about Heathcliff. And this page was probably not the page he’d been reading. The book could have fallen open to any page. 12. TIME “IHAVE FORESEEN . . . ,” ALICE BEGAN IN AN OMINOUStone. Edward threw an elbow toward her ribs, which she neatly dodged. “Fine,” she grumbled. “Edward is making me do this. But Idid foresee that you would be more difficult if I surprised you.” We were walking to the car after school, and I was completely clueless as to what she was talking about. “In English?” I requested. “Don’t be a baby about this. No tantrums.” “Now I’m scared.” “So you’re — I meanwe’re — having a graduation party. It’s no big thing. Nothing to freak out over. But I saw that youwould freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party” — she danced out of the way as Edward reached over to muss her hair — “and Edward said I had to tell you. But it’s nothing. Promise.” I sighed heavily. “Is there any point in arguing?” “None at all.” “Okay, Alice. I’ll be there. And I’ll hate every minute of it. Promise.” “That’s the spirit! By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn’t have.” “Alice, I didn’t!” “Oh, I know that. But you will.” I racked my brains in panic, trying to remember what I’d ever decided to get her for graduation that she might have seen. “Amazing,” Edward muttered. “How can someone so tiny be so annoying?” Alice laughed. “It’s a talent.” “Couldn’t you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?” I asked petulantly. “Now I’ll just be stressed that much longer.” Alice frowned at me. “Bella,” she said slowly. “Do you know what day it is?” “Monday?” She rolled her eyes. “Yes. It is Monday . . . the fourth.” She grabbed my elbow, spun me halfway around, and pointed toward a big yellow poster taped to the gym door. There, in sharp black letters, was the date of graduation. Exactly one week from today. “It’s the fourth?Of June? Are you sure?” Neither one answered. Alice just shook her head sadly, feigning disappointment, and Edward’s eyebrows lifted. “It can’t be! How did that happen?” I tried to count backwards in my head, but I couldn’t figure out where the days had gone. I felt like someone had kicked my legs out from under me. The weeks of stress, of worry . . . somehow in the middle of all my obsessing over the time, my time had disappeared. My space for sorting through it all, for making plans, had vanished. I was out of time. And I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know how to do this. How to say goodbye to Charlie and Renée . . . to Jacob . . . to being human. I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was suddenly terrified of getting it. In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. After all, it was the key to staying with Edward forever. And then there was the fact that I was being hunted by known and unknown parties. I’d rather not sit around, helpless and delicious, waiting for one of them to catch up with me. In theory, that all made sense. In practice . . . being human was all I knew. The future beyond that was a big, dark abyss that I couldn’t know until I leaped into it. This simple knowledge, today’s date — which was so obvious that I must have been subconsciously repressing it — made the deadline I’d been impatiently counting down toward feel like a date with the firing squad. In a vague way, I was aware of Edward holding the car door for me, of Alice chattering from the backseat, of the rain hammering against the windshield. Edward seemed to realize I was only there in body; he didn’t try to pull me out of my abstraction. Or maybe he did, and I was past noticing. We ended up at my house, where Edward led me to the sofa and pulled me down next to him. I stared out the window, into the liquid gray haze, and tried to find where my resolve had gone. Why was I panicking now? I’d known the deadline was coming. Why should it frighten me that it was here? I don’t know how long he let me stare out the window in silence. But the rain was disappearing into darkness when it was finally too much for him. He put his cold hands on either side of my face and fixed his golden eyes on mine. “Would you please tell me what you are thinking?Before I go mad?” What could I say to him? That I was a coward? I searched for words. “Your lips are white. Talk, Bella.” I exhaled in a big gust. How long had I been holding my breath? “The date took me off guard,” I whispered. “That’s all.” He waited, his face full of worry and skepticism. I tried to explain. “I’m not sure what to do . . . what to tell Charlie . . . what to say . . . how to . . .” My voice trailed off. “This isn’t about the party?” I frowned. “No. But thanks for reminding me.” The rain was louder as he read my face. “You’re not ready,” he whispered. “I am,” I lied immediately, a reflex reaction. I could tell he saw through it, so I took a deep breath, and told the truth. “I have to be.” “You don’t have to be anything.” I could feel the panic surfacing in my eyes as I mouthed the reasons. “Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room . . . !” “All the more reason to wait.” “That doesn’t make any sense, Edward!” He pressed his hands more tightly to my face and spoke with slow deliberation. “Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You’ve seen what it’s done . . . to Rosalie especially. We’ve all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won’t let it be that way for you. Youwill have a choice.” “I’ve already made my choice.” “You aren’t going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you,” he vowed. “When we’re through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you’re afraid. You won’t be forced into this.” “Carlisle promised,” I mumbled, contrary out of habit. “After graduation.” “Not until you’re ready,” he said in a sure voice. “And definitely not while you feel threatened.” I didn’t answer. I didn’t have it in me to argue; I couldn’t seem to find my commitment at the moment. “There.” He kissed my forehead. “Nothing to worry about.” I laughed a shaky laugh. “Nothing but impending doom.” “Trust me.” “I do.” He was still watching my face, waiting for me to relax. “Can I ask you something?” I said. “Anything.” I hesitated, biting my lip, and then asked a different question than the one I was worried about. “What am I getting Alice for graduation?” He snickered. “It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets —” “That’s right!” I was so relieved, I almost smiled. “The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you’d like, since you said it was a good CD.” “It’s a great idea. Thank you.” “I hope it’s not sold out.” “It’s the thought that counts. I ought to know.” I sighed. “There’s something else you meant to ask,” he said. I frowned. “You’re good.” “I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me.” I closed my eyes and leaned into him, hiding my face against his chest. “You don’t want me to be a vampire.” “No, I don’t,” he said softly, and then he waited for more. “That’s not a question,” he prompted after a moment. “Well . . . I was worrying about . . .why you feel that way.” “Worrying?” He picked out the word with surprise. “Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?” He hesitated for a minute. “If I answer your question, will you thenexplain your question?” I nodded, my face still hidden. He took a deep breath before he answered. “You could do so much better, Bella. I know thatyou believe I have a soul, but I’m not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours . . .” He shook his head slowly. “For me to allow this — to let you become what I am just so that I’ll never have to lose you — is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, formyself . But for you, I want so much more. Giving in — it feels criminal. It’s the most selfish thing I’ll ever do, even if I live forever. “If there were any way for me to become human for you — no matter what the price was, I would pay it.” I sat very still, absorbing this. Edward thought he wasbeing selfish . I felt the smile slowly spread across my face. “So . . . it’s not that you’re afraid you won’t . . . like me as much when I’m different — when I’m not soft and warm and I don’t smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?” He exhaled sharply. “You were worried I wouldn’tlike you?” he demanded. Then, before I could answer, he was laughing. “Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!” I knew he would think it silly, but I was relieved. If he really wanted me, I could get through the rest . . . somehow.Selfish suddenly seemed like a beautiful word. “I don’t think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella,” he said, the echo of his humor still there in his voice, “when I don’t have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I’ll miss. This for one . . .” He stared into my eyes as he stroked my cheek, and I felt the blood rush up to color my skin. He laughed gently. “And the sound of your heart,” he continued, more serious but still smiling a little. “It’s the most significant sound in my world. I’m so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter.This ,” he said, taking my face in his hands. “You.That’s what I’m keeping. You’ll always be my Bella, you’ll just be a little more durable.” I sighed and let my eyes close in contentment, resting there in his hands. “Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?” he asked. “Of course,” I answered at once, my eyes opening wide with surprise. What would he want to know? He spoke the words slowly. “You don’t want to be my wife.” My heart stopped, and then broke into a sprint. A cold sweat dewed on the back of my neck and my hands turned to ice. He waited, watching and listening to my reaction. “That’s not a question,” I finally whispered. He looked down, his lashes casting long shadows across his cheekbones, and dropped his hands from my face to pick up my frozen left hand. He played with my fingers while he spoke. “I was worrying about why you felt that way.” I tried to swallow. “That’s not a question, either,” I whispered. “Please, Bella?” “The truth?” I asked, only mouthing the words. “Of course. I can take it, whatever it is.” I took a deep breath. “You’re going to laugh at me.” His eyes flashed up to mine, shocked. “Laugh? I cannot imagine that.” “You’ll see,” I muttered, and then I sighed. My face went from white to scarlet in a sudden blaze of chagrin. “Okay, fine! I’m sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It’s just so . . . so . . . soembarrassing !” I confessed, and I hid my face against his chest again. There was a brief pause. “I’m not following you.” I tilted my head back and glared at him, embarrassment making me lash out, belligerent. “I’m notthat girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don’t just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn’t going to be that girl! That’s not who I am. . . .” I trailed off, losing steam. Edward’s face was impossible to read as he thought through my answer. “That’s all?” he finally asked. I blinked. “Isn’t that enough?” “It’s not that you were . . . more eager for immortality itself than for just me?” And then, though I’d predicted thathe would laugh, I was suddenly the one having hysterics. “Edward!” I gasped out between the paroxysms of giggles. “And here . . . I always . . . thought that . . . you were . . . so much . . .smarter than me!” He took me in his arms, and I could feel that he was laughing with me. “Edward,” I said, managing to speak more clearly with a little effort, “there’s no point to forever without you. I wouldn’t want one day without you.” “Well, that’s a relief,” he said. “Still . . . it doesn’t change anything.” “It’s nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I’d like it very much if you’d try to consider mine.” I’d sobered up by then, so I nodded and struggled to keep the frown off my face. His liquid gold eyes turned hypnotic as they held mine. “You see, Bella, I was alwaysthat boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn’t looking for love — no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then — but if I had found . . .” He paused, cocking his head to the side. “I was going to say if I had foundsomeone, but that won’t do. If I had foundyou, there isn’t a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I wasthat boy, who would have — as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for — gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn’t have quite the same connotations.” He smiled his crooked smile at me. I stared at him with my eyes frozen wide. “Breathe, Bella,” he reminded me, smiling. I breathed. “Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?” And for one second, I could. I saw myself in a long skirt and a high-necked lace blouse with my hair piled up on my head. I saw Edward looking dashing in a light suit with a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand, sitting beside me on a porch swing. I shook my head and swallowed. I was just havingAnne of Green Gables flashbacks. “The thing is, Edward,” I said in a shaky voice, avoiding the question, “in my mind,marriage and eternity are not mutually exclusive or mutually inclusive concepts. And since we’re living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean.” “But on the other hand,” he countered, “you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?” I pursed my lips. “When in Rome?” He laughed at me. “You don’t have to say yes or no today, Bella. It’s good to understand both sides, though, don’t you think?” “So your condition . . . ?” “Is still in effect. I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself. . . .” “Dum, dum, dah-dum,” I hummed under my breath. I was going for the wedding march, but it sort of sounded like a dirge. Time continued to move too fast. That night flew by dreamlessly, and then it was morning and graduation was staring me in the face. I had a pile of studying to do for my finals that I knew I wouldn’t get halfway through in the few days I had left. When I came down for breakfast, Charlie was already gone. He’d left the paper on the table, and that reminded me that I had some shopping to do. I hoped the ad for the concert was still running; I needed the phone number to get the stupid tickets. It didn’t seem like much of a gift now that all the surprise was gone. Of course, trying to surprise Alice wasn’t the brightest plan to begin with. I meant to flip right back to the entertainment section, but the thick black headline caught my attention. I felt a thrill of fear as I leaned closer to read the front-page story. SEATTLE TERRORIZED BY SLAYINGS It’s been less than a decade since the city of Seattle was the hunting ground for the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history. Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer, was convicted of the murders of 48 women. And now a beleaguered Seattle must face the possibility that it could be harboring an even more horrifying monster at this very moment. The police are not calling the recent rash of homicides and disappearances the work of a serial killer. Not yet, at least. They are reluctant to believe so much carnage could be the work of one individual. This killer — if, in fact, it is one person — would then be responsible for 39 linked homicides and disappearances within the last three months alone. In comparison, Ridgway’s 48-count murder spree was scattered over a 21-year period. If these deaths can be linked to one man, then this is the most violent rampage of serial murder in American history. The police are leaning instead toward the theory that gang activity is involved. This theory is supported by the sheer number of victims, and by the fact that there seems to be no pattern in the choice of victims. From Jack the Ripper to Ted Bundy, the targets of serial killings are usually connected by similarities in age, gender, race, or a combination of the three. The victims of this crime wave range in age from 15-year-old honor student Amanda Reed, to 67-year-old retired postman Omar Jenks. The linked deaths include a nearly even 18 women and 21 men. The victims are racially diverse: Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanics and Asians. The selection appears random. The motive seems to be killing for no other reason than to kill. So why even consider the idea of a serial killer? There are enough similarities in the modus operandi to rule out unrelated crimes. Every victim discovered has been burned to the extent that dental records were necessary for identification. The use of some kind of accelerant, like gasoline or alcohol, seems to be indicated in the conflagrations; however, no traces of any accelerant have yet been found. All of the bodies have been carelessly dumped with no attempt at concealment. More gruesome yet, most of the remains show evidence of brutal violence — bones crushed and snapped by some kind of tremendous pressure — which medical examiners believe occurred before the time of death, though these conclusions are difficult to be sure of, considering the state of the evidence. Another similarity that points to the possibility of a serial: every crime is perfectly clean of evidence, aside from the remains themselves. Not a fingerprint, not a tire tread mark nor a foreign hair is left behind. There have been no sightings of any suspect in the disappearances. Then there are the disappearances themselves — hardly low profile by any means. None of the victims are what could be viewed as easy targets. None are runaways or the homeless, who vanish so easily and are seldom reported missing. Victims have vanished from their homes, from a fourth-story apartment, from a health club, from a wedding reception. Perhaps the most astounding: 30-year-old amateur boxer Robert Walsh entered a movie theater with a date; a few minutes into the movie, the woman realized that he was not in his seat. His body was found only three hours later when fire fighters were called to the scene of a burning trash Dumpster, twenty miles away. Another pattern is present in the slayings: all of the victims disappeared at night. And the most alarming pattern? Acceleration. Six of the homicides were committed in the first month, 11 in the second. Twenty-two have occurred in the last 10 days alone. And the police are no closer to finding the responsible party than they were after the first charred body was discovered. The evidence is conflicting, the pieces horrifying. A vicious new gang or a wildly active serial killer? Or something else the police haven’t yet conceived of? Only one conclusion is indisputable: something hideous is stalking Seattle. It took me three tries to read the last sentence, and I realized the problem was my shaking hands. “Bella?” Focused as I was, Edward’s voice, though quiet and not totally unexpected, made me gasp and whirl. He was leaning in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together. Then he was suddenly at my side, taking my hand. “Did I startle you? I’m sorry. I did knock. . . .” “No, no,” I said quickly. “Have you seen this?” I pointed to the paper. A frown creased his forehead. “I hadn’t seen today’s news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We’re going to have to do something . . . quickly.” I didn’t like that. I hated any of them taking chances, and whatever or whoever was in Seattle was truly beginning to frighten me. But the idea of the Volturi coming was just as scary. “What does Alice say?” “That’s the problem.” His frown hardened. “She can’t see anything . . . though we’ve made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She’s starting to lose confidence. She feels like she’s missing too much these days, that something’s wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away.” My eyes were wide. “Can that happen?” “Who knows? No one’s ever done a study . . . but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane.” “Then what’s wrong?” “Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go . . . and she doesn’t see anything because we won’t really go until she does. So she can’t see us there. Maybe we’ll have to do it blind.” I shuddered. “No.” “Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We’re only a couple of days from finals; they won’t be giving us anything new.” “I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?” “I want to talk to Jasper.” Jasper, again. It was strange. In the Cullen family, Jasper was always a little on the fringe, part of things but never the center of them. It was my unspoken assumption that he was only there for Alice. I had the sense that he would follow Alice anywhere, but that this lifestyle was not his first choice. The fact that he was less committed to it than the others was probably why he had more difficulty keeping it up. At any rate, I’d never seen Edward feel dependent on Jasper. I wondered again what he’d meant about Jasper’s expertise. I really didn’t know much about Jasper’s history, just that he had come from somewhere in the south before Alice found him. For some reason, Edward had always shied away from any questions about his newest brother. And I’d always been too intimidated by the tall, blond vampire who looked like a brooding movie star to ask him outright. When we got to the house, we found Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching the news intently, though the sound was so low that it was unintelligible to me. Alice was perched on the bottom step of the grand staircase, her face in her hands and her expression discouraged. As we walked in, Emmett ambled through the kitchen door, seeming perfectly at ease. Nothing ever bothered Emmett. “Hey, Edward. Ditching, Bella?” He grinned at me. “We both are,” Edward reminded him. Emmett laughed. “Yes, but it’sher first time through high school. She might miss something.” Edward rolled his eyes, but otherwise ignored his favorite brother. He tossed the paper to Carlisle. “Did you see that they’re considering a serial killer now?” he asked. Carlisle sighed. “They’ve had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning.” “We can’t let this go on.” “Let’s go now,” Emmett said with sudden enthusiasm. “I’m dead bored.” A hiss echoed down the stairway from upstairs. “She’s such a pessimist,” Emmett muttered to himself. Edward agreed with Emmett. “We’ll have to go sometime.” Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs and descended slowly. Her face was smooth, expressionless. Carlisle was shaking his head. “I’m concerned. We’ve never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It’s not our business. We aren’t the Volturi.” “I don’t want the Volturi to have to come here,” Edward said. “It gives us so much less reaction time.” “And all those innocent humans in Seattle,” Esme murmured. “It’s not right to let them die this way.” “I know,” Carlisle sighed. “Oh,” Edward said sharply, turning his head slightly to look at Jasper. “I didn’t think of that. I see. You’re right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything.” I wasn’t the only one who stared at him in confusion, but I might have been the only one who didn’t look slightly annoyed. “I think you’d better explain to the others,” Edward said to Jasper. “What could be the purpose of this?” Edward started to pace, staring at the floor, lost in thought. I hadn’t seen her get up, but Alice was there beside me. “What is he rambling about?” she asked Jasper. “What are you thinking?” Jasper didn’t seem to enjoy the spotlight. He hesitated, reading every face in the circle — for everyone had moved in to hear what he would say — and then his eyes paused on my face. “You’re confused,” he said to me, his deep voice very quiet. There was no question in his assumption. Jasper knew what I was feeling, what everyone was feeling. “We’re all confused,” Emmett grumbled. “You can afford the time to be patient,” Jasper told him. “Bella should understand this, too. She’s one of us now.” His words took me by surprise. As little as I’d had to do with Jasper, especially since my last birthday when he’d tried to kill me, I hadn’t realize that he thought of me that way. “How much do you know about me, Bella?” Jasper asked. Emmett sighed theatrically, and plopped down on the couch to wait with exaggerated impatience. “Not much,” I admitted. Jasper stared at Edward, who looked up to meet his gaze. “No,” Edward answered his thought. “I’m sure you can understand why I haven’t told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now.” Jasper nodded thoughtfully, and then started to roll up the arm of his ivory sweater. I watched, curious and confused, trying to figure out what he was doing. He held his wrist under the edge of the lampshade beside him, close to the light of the naked bulb, and traced his finger across a raised crescent mark on the pale skin. It took me a minute to understand why the shape looked strangely familiar. “Oh,” I breathed as realization hit. “Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine.” I held out my hand, the silvery crescent more prominent against my cream skin than against his alabaster. Jasper smiled faintly. “I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella.” Jasper’s face was unreadable as he pushed the sleeve of his thin sweater higher up his arm. At first my eyes could not make sense of the texture that was layered thickly across the skin. Curved half-moons crisscrossed in a feathery pattern that was only visible, white on white as it was, because the bright glow of the lamp beside him threw the slightly raised design into relief, with shallow shadows outlining the shapes. And then I grasped that the pattern was made of individual crescents like the one on his wrist . . . the one on my hand. I looked back at my own small, solitary scar — and remembered how I’d received it. I stared at the shape of James’s teeth, embossed forever on my skin. And then I gasped, staring up at him. “Jasper, whathappened to you?” 13. NEWBORN “THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND,”Jasper answered in a quiet voice. “Repeated a thousand times.” He laughed a little ruefully and brushed at his arm. “Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar.” “Why?”I breathed in horror, feeling rude but unable to stop staring at his subtly ravaged skin. “I didn’t have quite the same . . . upbringing as my adopted siblings here. My beginning was something else entirely.” His voice turned hard as he finished. I gaped at him, appalled. “Before I tell you my story,” Jasper said, “you must understand that there are places inour world, Bella, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries.” The others had heard this before. Carlisle and Emmett turned their attention to the TV again. Alice moved silently to sit at Esme’s feet. But Edward was just as absorbed as I was; I could feel his eyes on my face, reading every flicker of emotion. “To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy . . . the perpetually thirsty. “You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection. “Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we — well, those who exist this way — can feed without attracting notice.” I shuddered at the image in my head, at the wordfeed. But Jasper wasn’t worried about frightening me, not overprotective like Edward always was. He went on without a pause. “Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. It’s the Volturi that keep them in check. They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed.” I frowned at the way he pronounced the name — with respect, almost gratitude. The idea of the Volturi as the good guys in any sense was hard to accept. “The North is, by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly — anonymity is important to us all. “It’s a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night. They spend the day plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy’s. Because it has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside — food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi.” “But what are they fighting for?” I asked. Jasper smiled. “Remember the map with the red dots?” He waited, so I nodded. “They fight for control of the thickest red. “You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let’s say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition. “Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others. “But themost effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito. The first anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won.” “How did he win?” I asked with wary curiosity. “Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare. They’ll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost. “You see, though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you’re doing. They’re incredibly powerful physically, for the first year or so, and if they’re allowed to bring strength to bear they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their instincts, and thus predictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case, overwhelming numbers.” “The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own. . . . “All hell broke loose — and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human in Mexico, either.” I shuddered. “When the body count reached epidemic proportions — in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump — the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as quickly as he could in order to take on the prize — Mexico City. The Volturi started with him, and then moved on to the rest. “Anyone who was found with the newborns was executed immediately, and, since everyone was trying to protect themselves from Benito, Mexico was emptied of vampires for a time. “The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacán.” Jasper shuddered. I realized that I had never before seen him either afraid or horrified. This was a first. “It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the South. The rest of the world stayed sane. We owe the Volturi for our present way of life. “But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South. “It didn’t take long before covens began to dispute again. There was a lot of bad blood, if you’ll forgive the expression. Vendettas abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten, and the southern covens were more careful this time. The newborns were selected from the human pool with more care, and given more training. They were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators gave the Volturi no reason to return. “The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue. . . .” Jasper was staring off into space. “That’s how you were changed.” My realization was a whisper. “Yes,” he agreed. “When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it. “My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always . . . liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By the first battle of Galveston — well, it was more of a skirmish, really — I was the youngest major in Texas, not even acknowledging my real age. “I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union’s mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians to convey them to Houston. “I remember that one night very clearly. “We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There wasn’t time to rest. “Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence. They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen. “They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They seemed young, all of them, still young enough to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing these three. “‘He’s speechless,’ the tallest girl said in a lovely, delicate voice — it was like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and her skin was snow white. “The other was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel’s. She leaned toward me with half-closed eyes and inhaled deeply. “‘Mmm,’ she sighed. ‘Lovely.’ “The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl’s arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too soft and musical to be sharp, but that seemed to be the way she intended it. “‘Concentrate, Nettie,’ she said. “I’d always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the brunette was somehow in charge of the others. If they’d been military, I would have said that she outranked them. “‘He looks right — young, strong, an officer. . . . ’ The brunette paused, and I tried unsuccessfully to speak. ‘And there’s something more . . . do you sense it?’ she asked the other two. ‘He’s . . . compelling.’ “‘Oh, yes,’ Nettie quickly agreed, leaning toward me again. “‘Patience,’ the brunette cautioned her. ‘I want to keep this one.’ “Nettie frowned; she seemed annoyed. “‘You’d better do it, Maria,’ the taller blonde spoke again. ‘If he’s important to you. I kill them twice as often as I keep them.’ “‘Yes, I’ll do it,’ Maria agreed. ‘I really do like this one. Take Nettie away, will you? I don’t want to have to protect my back while I’m trying to focus.’ “My hair was standing up on the back of my neck, though I didn’t understand the meaning of anything the beautiful creatures were saying. My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing, but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them. “‘Let’s hunt,’ Nettie agreed enthusiastically, reaching for the tall girl’s hand. They wheeled — they were so graceful! — and sprinted toward the city. They seemed to almost take flight, they were so fast — their white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone. “I turned to stare at Maria, who was watching me curiously. “I’d never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I’d never believed in ghosts or any other such nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure. “‘What is your name, soldier?’ Maria asked me. “‘Major Jasper Whitlock, ma’am,’ I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost. “‘I truly hope you survive, Jasper,’ she said in her gentle voice. ‘I have a good feeling about you.’ “She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run.” Jasper paused, his face thoughtful. “A few days later,” he finally said, and I wasn’t sure if he had edited his story for my sake or because he was responding to the tension that even I could feel exuding from Edward, “I was introduced to my new life. “Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn’t been together long — Maria had rounded up the other two — all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their . . . herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria’s idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, and she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded. . . .” He paused, editing again. “She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were strong. “There were six of us when I joined Maria’s band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all male — Maria wanted soldiers — and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst ourselves. I fought my first battles against my new comrades in arms. I was quicker than the others, better at combat. Maria was pleased with me, though put out that she had to keep replacing the ones I destroyed. I was rewarded often, and that made me stronger. “Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others — as if I were being promoted. It suited my nature exactly. The casualties went down dramatically, and our numbers swelled to hover around twenty. “This was considerable for the cautious times we lived in. My ability, as yet undefined, to control the emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work together more easily. “Maria grew quite fond of me — she began to depend upon me. And, in some ways, I worshipped the ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible. Maria told us this was the way things were, and we believed. “She asked me to tell her when my brothers and I were ready to fight, and I was eager to prove myself. I pulled together an army of twenty-three in the end — twenty-three unbelievably strong new vampires, organized and skilled as no others before. Maria was ecstatic. “We crept down toward Monterrey, her former home, and she unleashed us on her enemies. They had only nine newborns at the time, and a pair of older vampires controlling them. We took them down more easily than Maria could believe, losing only four in the process. It was an unheard-of margin of victory. “And we were well trained. We did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any human being aware. “Success made Maria greedy. It wasn’t long before she began to eye other cities. That first year, she extended her control to cover most of Texas and northern Mexico. Then the others came from the South to dislodge her.” He brushed two fingers along the faint pattern of scars on his arm. “The fighting was intense. Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and Lucy turned on Maria eventually — but that one we won. “Maria and I were able to hold on to Monterrey. It quieted a little, though the wars continued. The idea of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners, and that is something our kind does not forgive. . . . “Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us — they were pawns, they were disposable. When they outgrew their usefulness, wedid dispose of them. My life continued in the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything changed . . . “Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who’d remained useful and survived his first three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter; he was . . . civilized — I suppose that’s the right word. He didn’t enjoy the fight, though he was good at it. “He was assigned to deal with the newborns — babysit them, you could say. It was a full-time job. “And then it was time to purge again. The newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see, one by one . . . It was always a very long night. This time, he tried to convince me that a few had potential, but Maria had instructed that we get rid of them all. I told him no. “We were about halfway through, and I could feel that it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to decide whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself as I called out the next victim. To my surprise, he was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow — he was a good fighter, but he was never a match for me. “The newborn I’d summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run, and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn’t. I felt . . . averse to destroying him. “Maria was irritated with me for that . . . “Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive. “Maria was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She’d never felt a moment’s depression, and I wondered why I was different. I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me — sometimes there was fear . . . and malice — the same feelings that had given me advance warning when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned. “Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I’d never dreamed I had. In five years, they’d never had a fight, though they’d met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem. “In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn’t have to kill Maria. I’d been her companion for as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance. “I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn’t fade. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I’d hunted. “I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I’d lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me — this borrowed memory — than it was for anyone else, because I couldfeel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them. “You’ve experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affectme . I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey. “It began to be too much. “The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn’t feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing — killing anyone, even mere humans. “Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline . . . challenging. I still haven’t perfected that.” Jasper was lost in the story, as was I. It surprised me when his desolate expression smoothed into a peaceful smile. “I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day — something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little. “She was there — expecting me, naturally.” He chuckled once. “She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me. “It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That’s the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I’d ever felt before. “‘You’ve kept me waiting a long time,’ she said.” I didn’t realize Alice had come to stand behind me again. “And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, ‘I’m sorry, ma’am.’” Alice laughed at the memory. Jasper smiled down at her. “You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope.” Jasper took Alice’s hand as he spoke. Alice grinned. “I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up.” They smiled at each other for a long moment, and then Jasper looked back to me, the soft expression lingering. “Alice told me what she’d seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them.” “Scared the hell out of them, too,” Edward said, rolling his eyes at Jasper before turning to me to explain. “Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak” — he nudged Alice playfully — “who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into.” Alice and Jasper laughed in harmony, soprano and bass. “When I got home, all my things were in the garage,” Edward continued. Alice shrugged. “Your room had the best view.” They all laughed together now. “That’s a nice story,” I said. Three pairs of eyes questioned my sanity. “I mean the last part,” I defended myself. “The happy ending with Alice.” “Alice has made all the difference,” Jasper agreed. “This is a climate I enjoy.” But the momentary pause in the stress couldn’t last. “An army,” Alice whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me?” The others were intent again, their eyes locked on Jasper’s face. “I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either; no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there’s no one tofight for it. No one to defend it from. “But I’ve seen this before, and there’s no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I’d guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won’t be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I’m surprised they’ve let this go on so long.” “What can we do?” Carlisle asked. “If we want to avoid the Volturi’s involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon.” Jasper’s face was hard. Knowing his story now, I could guess how this evaluation must disturb him. “I can teach you how. It won’t be easy in the city. The young ones aren’t concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out.” “Maybe we won’t have to.” Edward’s voice was bleak. “Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is . . . us?” Jasper’s eyes narrowed; Carlisle’s widened, shocked. “Tanya’s family is also near,” Esme said slowly, unwilling to accept Edward’s words. “The newborns aren’t ravaging Anchorage, Esme. I think we have to consider the idea thatwe are the targets.” “They’re not coming after us,” Alice insisted, and then paused. “Or . . . they don’tknow that they are. Not yet.” “What is that?” Edward asked, curious and tense. “What are you remembering?” “Flickers,” Alice said. “I can’t see a clear picture when I try to see what’s going on, nothing concrete. But I’ve been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It’s as if someone’s changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can’t get a good view. . . .” “Indecision?” Jasper asked in disbelief. “I don’t know. . . .” “Not indecision,” Edward growled. “Knowledge. Someone who knows you can’t see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision.” “Who would know that?” Alice whispered. Edward’s eyes were hard as ice. “Aro knows you as well as you know yourself.” “But I would see if they’d decided to come. . . .” “Unless they didn’t want to get their hands dirty.” “A favor,” Rosalie suggested, speaking for the first time. “Someone in the South . . . someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance — if they take care of this one small problem. . . . That would explain the Volturi’s sluggish response.” “Why?” Carlisle asked, still shocked. “There’s no reason for the Volturi —” “It was there,” Edward disagreed quietly. “I’m surprised it’s come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro’s head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him. I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan — he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having . . . notmore than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn’t hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they’ve ever found. . . .” I stared at his face in horror. He’d never told me this, but I guessed I knew why. I could see it in my head now, Aro’s dream. Edward and Alice in black, flowing robes, drifting along at Aro’s side with their eyes cold and blood-red. . . . Carlisle interrupted my waking nightmare. “They’re too committed to their mission. They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they’ve worked for.” “They’ll clean up afterward. A double betrayal,” Edward said in a grim voice. “No harm done.” Jasper leaned forward, shaking his head. “No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it’s much too sloppy. This . . . person, this threat — they have no idea what they’re doing. A first-timer, I’d swear to it. I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be.” They all stared at each other, frozen with stress. “Then let’sgo, ” Emmett almost roared. “What are we waiting for?” Carlisle and Edward exchanged a long glance. Edward nodded once. “We’ll need you to teach us, Jasper,” Carlisle finally said. “How to destroy them.” Carlisle’s jaw was hard, but I could see the pain in his eyes as he said the words. No one hated violence more than Carlisle. There was something bothering me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was numb, horrified, deathly afraid. And yet, under that, I could feel that I was missing something important. Something that would make some sense out of the chaos. That would explain it. “We’re going to need help,” Jasper said. “Do you think Tanya’s family would be willing . . . ? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid.” “We’ll ask,” Carlisle answered. Jasper held out a cell phone. “We need to hurry.” I’d never seen Carlisle’s innate calm so shaken. He took the phone, and paced toward the windows. He dialed a number, held the phone to his ear, and laid the other hand against the glass. He stared out into the foggy morning with a pained and ambivalent expression. Edward took my hand and pulled me to the white loveseat. I sat beside him, staring at his face while he stared at Carlisle. Carlisle’s voice was low and quick, difficult to hear. I heard him greet Tanya, and then he raced through the situation too fast for me to understand much, though I could tell that the Alaskan vampires were not ignorant of what was going on in Seattle. Then something changed in Carlisle’s voice. “Oh,” he said, his voice sharper in surprise. “We didn’t realize . . . that Irina felt that way.” Edward groaned at my side and closed his eyes. “Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs.” “Laurent?” I whispered, the blood emptying from my face, but Edward didn’t respond, focused on Carlisle’s thoughts. My short encounter with Laurent early this spring was not something that had faded or dimmed in my mind. I still remembered every word he’d said before Jacob and his pack had interrupted. I actually came here as a favor to her. . . . Victoria. Laurent had been her first maneuver — she’d sent him to observe, to see how hard it might be to get to me. He hadn’t survived the wolves to report back. Though he’d kept up his old ties with Victoria after James’s death, he’d also formed new ties and new relationships. He’d gone to live with Tanya’s family in Alaska — Tanya the strawberry blonde — the closest friends the Cullens had in the vampire world, practically extended family. Laurent had been with them for almost a year previous to his death. Carlisle was still talking, his voice not quite pleading. Persuasive, but with an edge. Then the edge abruptly won out over the persuasion. “There’s no question of that,” Carlisle said in a stern voice. “We have a truce. They haven’t broken it, and neither will we. I’m sorry to hear that. . . . Of course. We’ll just have to do our best alone.” Carlisle shut the phone without waiting for an answer. He continued to stare out into the fog. “What’s the problem?” Emmett murmured to Edward. “Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She’s holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants —” He paused, looking down at me. “Go on,” I said as evenly as I could. His eyes tightened. “She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission.” “No!” I gasped. “Don’t worry,” he told me in a flat voice. “Carlisle would never agree to it.” He hesitated, then sighed. “Nor would I. Laurent had it coming” — this was almost a growl — “and I still owe the wolves for that.” “This isn’t good,” Jasper said. “It’s too even a fight. We’d have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We’d win, but at what price?” His tense eyes flashed to Alice’s face and away. I wanted to scream out loud as I grasped what Jasper meant. We would win, but we would lose. Some wouldn’t survive. I looked around the room at their faces — Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose, Esme, Carlisle . . . Edward — the faces of my family. 14. DECLARATION “YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS,” I SAID WEDNESDAY AFTERnoon. “You’ve completely lost your mind!” “Say whatever you like about me,” Alice answered. “The party is still on.” I stared at her, my eyes so wide with disbelief it felt like they might fall out and land on my lunch tray. “Oh, calm down, Bella! There’s no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent.” “But . . . the . . . you . . . I . . . insane!” I spluttered. “You’ve already bought my present,” she reminded me. “You don’t have to do anything but show up.” I made an effort to calm myself. “With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate.” “Graduation is what’s going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it’s almost passé.” “Alice!” She sighed, and tried to be serious. “There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that’s going to take a little time. As long as we’re sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. You’re only going to graduate from high school — for the first time — once. You don’t get to be human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot.” Edward, silent through our little argument, flashed her a warning look. She stuck out her tongue at him. She was right — her soft voice would never carry over the babble of the cafeteria. And no one would understand the meaning behind her words in any case. “What few things do we need to get in order?” I asked, refusing to be sidetracked. Edward answered in a low voice. “Jasper thinks we could use some help. Tanya’s family isn’t the only choice we have. Carlisle’s trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte. He’s considering talking to Maria . . . but no one really wants to involve the southerners.” Alice shuddered delicately. “It shouldn’t be too hard to convince them to help,” he continued. “Nobody wants a visit from Italy.” “But these friends — they’re not going to be . . .vegetarians, right?” I protested, using the Cullens’ tongue-in-cheek nickname for themselves. “No,” Edward answered, suddenly expressionless. “Here? In Forks?” “They’re friends,” Alice reassured me. “Everything’s going to be fine. Don’t worry. And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination. . . .” Edward’s eyes brightened at that, and a brief smile flashed across his face. My stomach suddenly felt like it was full of sharp little splinters of ice. “When are you going?” I asked in a hollow voice. I couldn’t stand this — the idea that someone might not come back. What if it was Emmett, so brave and thoughtless that he was never the least bit cautious? Or Esme, so sweet and motherly that I couldn’t even imagine her in a fight? Or Alice, so tiny, so fragile-looking? Or . . . but I couldn’t even think the name, consider the possibility. “A week,” Edward said casually. “That ought to give us enough time.” The icy splinters twisted uncomfortably in my stomach. I was suddenly nauseated. “You look kind of green, Bella,” Alice commented. Edward put his arm around me and pulled me tightly against his side. “It’s going to be fine, Bella. Trust me.” Sure,I thought to myself. Trust him. He wasn’t the one who was going to have to sit behind and wonder whether or not the core of his existence was going to come home. And then it occurred to me. Maybe I didn’t need to sit behind. A week was more than enough time. “You’re looking for help,” I said slowly. “Yes.” Alice’s head cocked to the side as she processed the change in my tone. I looked only at her as I answered. My voice was just slightly louder than a whisper. “Icould help.” Edward’s body was suddenly rigid, his arm too tight around me. He exhaled, and the sound was a hiss. But it was Alice, still calm, who answered. “That really wouldn’t behelpful. ” “Why not?” I argued; I could hear the desperation in my voice. “Eight is better than seven. There’s more than enough time.” “There’s not enough time to make you helpful, Bella,” she disagreed coolly. “Do you remember how Jasper described the young ones? You’d be no good in a fight. You wouldn’t be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you.” She folded her arms across her chest, pleased with her unassailable logic. And I knew she was right, when she put it like that. I slumped in my seat, my sudden hope defeated. Beside me, Edward relaxed. He whispered the reminder in my ear. “Not because you’re afraid.” “Oh,” Alice said, and a blank look crossed her face. Then her expression became surly. “I hate last-minute cancellations. So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five. . . .” “Sixty-five!”My eyes bulged again. I didn’t have that many friends. Did I even know that many people? “Who canceled?” Edward wondered, ignoring me. “Renée.” “What?” I gasped. “She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You’ll have a message when you get home.” For a moment, I just let myself enjoy the relief. Whatever it was that went wrong for my mother, I was eternally grateful to it. If she had come to Forksnow . . . I didn’t want to think about it. My head would explode. The message light was flashing when I got home. My feeling of relief flared again as I listened to my mother describe Phil’s accident on the ball field — while demonstrating a slide, he’d tangled up with the catcher and broken his thigh bone; he was entirely dependent on her, and there was no way she could leave him. My mom was still apologizing when the message cut off. “Well, that’s one,” I sighed. “One what?” Edward asked. “One person I don’t have to worry about getting killed this week.” He rolled his eyes. “Why won’t you and Alice take this seriously?” I demanded. “This isserious. ” He smiled. “Confidence.” “Wonderful,” I grumbled. I picked up the phone and dialed Renée’s number. I knew it would be a long conversation, but I also knew that I wouldn’t have to contribute much. I just listened, and reassured her every time I could get a word in: I wasn’t disappointed, I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t hurt. She should concentrate on helping Phil get better. I passed on my “get well soon” to Phil, and promised to call her with every single detail from Forks High’s generic graduation. Finally, I had to use my desperate need to study for finals to get off the phone. Edward’s patience was endless. He waited politely through the whole conversation, just playing with my hair and smiling whenever I looked up. It was probably superficial to notice such things while I had so many more important things to think about, but his smile still knocked the breath out of me. He was so beautiful that it made it hard sometimes to think about anything else, hard to concentrate on Phil’s troubles or Renée’s apologies or hostile vampire armies. I was only human. As soon as I hung up, I stretched onto my tiptoes to kiss him. He put his hands around my waist and lifted me onto the kitchen counter, so I wouldn’t have to reach as far. That worked for me. I locked my arms around his neck and melted against his cold chest. Too soon, as usual, he pulled away. I felt my face slip into a pout. He laughed at my expression as he extricated himself from my arms and legs. He leaned against the counter next to me and put one arm lightly around my shoulders. “I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that’s not actually the case.” “I wish,” I sighed. And he sighed, too. “After school tomorrow,” he said, changing the subject, “I’m going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours — we’ll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe.” “Ugh,” I grumbled. Tomorrow was the first day of finals, and it was only a half-day. I had Calculus and History — the only two challenges in my line-up — so I’d have almost the whole day without him, and nothing to do but worry. “I hate being babysat.” “It’s temporary,” he promised. “Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me.” “They’ll be on their best behavior.” “Right,” I grumbled. And then it occurred to me that I did have one option besides babysitters. “You know . . . I haven’t been to La Push since the bonfire.” I watched his face carefully for any change in expression. His eyes tightened the tiniest bit. “I’d be safe enough there,” I reminded him. He thought about it for a few seconds. “You’re probably right.” His face was calm, but just a little too smooth. I almost asked if he’d rather I stayed here, but then I thought of the ribbing Emmett would no doubt dish out, and I changed the subject. “Are you thirsty already?” I asked, reaching up to stroke the light shadow beneath his eye. His irises were still a deep gold. “Not really.” He seemed reluctant to answer, and that surprised me. I waited for an explanation. “We want to be as strong as possible,” he explained, still reluctant. “We’ll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game.” “That makes you stronger?” He searched my face for something, but there was nothing to find but curiosity. “Yes,” he finally said. “Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper’s been thinking about cheating — adverse as he is to the idea, he’s nothing if not practical — but he won’t suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say.” “Would that help?” I asked quietly. “It doesn’t matter. We aren’t going to change who we are.” I frowned. If something helped even the odds . . . and then I shuddered, realizing I was willing to have a stranger die to protect him. I was horrified at myself, but not entirely able to deny it, either. He changed the subject again. “That’s why they’re so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human blood — their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year.” “How strong willI be?” He grinned. “Stronger than I am.” “Stronger than Emmett?” The grin got bigger. “Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him.” I laughed. It sounded so ridiculous. Then I sighed and hopped down from the counter, because I really couldn’t put it off any longer. I had to cram, and cram hard. Luckily I had Edward’s help, and Edward was an excellent tutor — since he knew absolutely everything. I figured my biggest problem would be just focusing on the tests. If I didn’t watch myself, I might end up writing my History essay on the vampire wars of the South. I took a break to call Jacob, and Edward seemed just as comfortable as he had when I was on the phone with Renée. He played with my hair again. Though it was the middle of the afternoon, my call woke Jacob up, and he was grouchy at first. He cheered right up when I asked if I could visit the next day. The Quileute school was already out for the summer, so he told me to come over as early as I could. I was pleased to have an option besides being babysat. There was a tiny bit more dignity in spending the day with Jacob. Some of that dignity was lost when Edward insisted again on delivering me to the border line like a child being exchanged by custodial guardians. “So how do you feel you did on your exams?” Edward asked on the way, making small talk. “History was easy, but I don’t know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed.” He laughed. “I’m sure you did fine. Or, if you’re really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A.” “Er, thanks, but no thanks.” He laughed again, but suddenly stopped when we turned the last bend and saw the red car waiting. He frowned in concentration, and then, as he parked the car, he sighed. “What’s wrong?” I asked, my hand on the door. He shook his head. “Nothing.” His eyes were narrowed as he stared through the windshield toward the other car. I’d seen that look before. “You’re notlistening to Jacob, are you?” I accused. “It’s not easy to ignore someone when he’s shouting.” “Oh.” I thought about that for a second. “What’s he shouting?” I whispered. “I’m absolutely certain he’ll mention it himself,” Edward said in a wry tone. I would have pressed the issue, but then Jacob honked his horn — two quick impatient honks. “That’s impolite,” Edward growled. “That’s Jacob,” I sighed, and I hurried out before Jacob did something to really set Edward’s teeth on edge. I waved to Edward before I got into the Rabbit and, from that distance, it looked like he was truly upset about the honking thing . . . or whatever Jacob was thinking about. But my eyes were weak and made mistakes all the time. I wanted Edward to come to me. I wanted to make both of them get out of their cars and shake hands and be friends — be Edward and Jacob rather thanvampire andwerewolf. It was as if I had those two stubborn magnets in my hands again, and I was holding them together, trying to force nature to reverse herself. . . . I sighed, and climbed in Jacob’s car. “Hey, Bells.” Jake’s tone was cheerful, but his voice dragged. I examined his face as he started down the road, driving a little faster than I did, but slower than Edward, on his way back to La Push. Jacob looked different, maybe even sick. His eyelids drooped and his face was drawn. His shaggy hair stuck out in random directions; it was almost to his chin in some places. “Are you all right, Jake?” “Just tired,” he managed to get out before he was overcome by a massive yawn. When he finished, he asked, “What do you want to do today?” I eyed him for a moment. “Let’s just hang out at your place for now,” I suggested. He didn’t look like he was up for much more than that. “We can ride our bikes later.” “Sure, sure,” he said, yawning again. Jacob’s house was vacant, and that felt strange. I realized I thought of Billy as a nearly permanent fixture there. “Where’s your dad?” “Over at the Clearwaters’. He’s been hanging out there a lot since Harry died. Sue gets lonely.” Jacob sat down on the old couch that was no bigger than a loveseat and squished himself to the side to make room for me. “Oh. That’s nice. Poor Sue.” “Yeah . . . she’s having some trouble. . . .” He hesitated. “With her kids.” “Sure, it’s got to be hard on Seth and Leah, losing their dad. . . .” “Uh-huh,” he agreed, lost in thought. He picked up the remote and flipped on the TV without seeming to think about it. He yawned. “What’s with you, Jake? You’re like a zombie.” “I got about two hours of sleep last night, and four the night before,” he told me. He stretched his long arms slowly, and I could hear the joints crack as he flexed. He settled his left arm along the back of the sofa behind me, and slumped back to rest his head against the wall. “I’m exhausted.” “Why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked. He made a face. “Sam’s being difficult. He doesn’t trust your bloodsuckers. I’ve been running double shifts for two weeks and nobody’s touched me yet, but he still doesn’t buy it. So I’m on my own for now.” “Double shifts? Is this because you’re trying to watch out forme? Jake, that’s wrong! You need to sleep. I’ll be fine.” “It’s no big deal.” His eyes were abruptly more alert. “Hey, did you ever find out who was in your room? Is there anything new?” I ignored the second question. “No, we didn’t find anything out about my, um, visitor.” “Then I’ll be around,” he said as his eyes slid closed. “Jake . . . ,” I started to whine. “Hey, it’s the least I can do — I offered eternal servitude, remember. I’m your slave for life.” “I don’t want a slave!” His eyes didn’t open. “Whatdo you want, Bella?” “I want my friend Jacob — and I don’t want him half-dead, hurting himself in some misguided attempt —” He cut me off. “Look at it this way — I’m hoping I can track down a vampire I’m allowed to kill, okay?” I didn’t answer. He looked at me then, peeking at my reaction. “Kidding, Bella.” I stared at the TV. “So, any special plans next week? You’re graduating. Wow. That’s big.” His voice turned flat, and his face, already drawn, looked downright haggard as his eyes closed again — not in exhaustion this time, but in denial. I realized that graduation still had a horrible significance for him, though my intentions were now disrupted. “Nospecial plans,” I said carefully, hoping he would hear the reassurance in my words without a more detailed explanation. I didn’t want to get into it now. For one thing, he didn’t look up for any difficult conversations. For another, I knew he would read too much into my qualms. “Well, I do have to go to a graduation party. Mine.” I made a disgusted sound. “Aliceloves parties, and she’s invited the whole town to her place the night of. It’s going to be horrible.” His eyes opened as I spoke, and a relieved smile made his face look less worn. “I didn’t get an invitation. I’m hurt,” he teased. “Consider yourself invited. It’s supposedlymy party, so I should be able to ask who I want.” “Thanks,” he said sarcastically, his eyes slipping closed once more. “I wish you would come,” I said without any hope. “It would be more fun. For me, I mean.” “Sure, sure,” he mumbled. “That would be very . . . wise . . .” His voice trailed off. A few seconds later, he was snoring. Poor Jacob. I studied his dreaming face, and liked what I saw. While he slept, every trace of defensiveness and bitterness disappeared and suddenly he was the boy who had been my very best friend before all the werewolf nonsense had gotten in the way. He looked so much younger. He looked like my Jacob. I nestled into the couch to wait out his nap, hoping he would sleep for a while and make up some of what he’d lost. I flipped through channels, but there wasn’t much on. I settled for a cooking show, knowing, as I watched, that I’d never put that much effort into Charlie’s dinner. Jacob continued to snore, getting louder. I turned up the TV. I was strangely relaxed, almost sleepy, too. This house felt safer than my own, probably because no one had ever come looking for me here. I curled up on the sofa and thought about taking a nap myself. Maybe I would have, but Jacob’s snoring was impossible to tune out. So, instead of sleeping, I let my mind wander. Finals were done, and most of them had been a cakewalk. Calculus, the one exception, was behind me, pass or fail. My high school education was over. And I didn’t really know how I felt about that. I couldn’t look at it objectively, tied up as it was with my human life being over. I wondered how long Edward planned to use this “not because you’re scared” excuse. I was going to have to put my foot down sometime. If I were thinking practically, I knew it made more sense to ask Carlisle to change me the second I made it through the graduation line. Forks was becoming nearly as dangerous as a war zone. No, Forkswas a war zone. Not to mention . . . it would be a good excuse to miss the graduation party. I smiled to myself as I thought of that most trivial of reasons for changing. Silly . . . yet still compelling. But Edward was right — I wasn’t quite ready yet. And I didn’t want to be practical. I wanted Edward to be the one. It wasn’t a rational desire. I was sure that — about two seconds after someone actually bit me and the venom started burning through my veins — I really wouldn’t care anymore who had done it. So it shouldn’t make a difference. It was hard to define, even to myself, why it mattered. There was just something about him being the one to make the choice — to want to keep me enough that he wouldn’t just allow me to be changed, he would act to keep me. It was childish, but I liked the idea thathis lips would be the last good thing I would feel. Even more embarrassingly, something I would never say aloud, I wantedhis venom to poison my system. It would make me belong to him in a tangible, quantifiable way. But I knew he was going to stick to his marriage scheme like glue — because a delay was what he was clearly after and it was working so far. I tried to imagine telling my parents that I was getting married this summer. Telling Angela and Ben and Mike. I couldn’t. I couldn’t think of the words to say. It would be easier to tell them I was becoming a vampire. And I was sure that at least my mother — were I to tell her every detail of the truth — would be more strenuously opposed to me getting married than to me a becoming vampire. I grimaced to myself as I imagined her horrified expression. Then, for just a second, I saw that same odd vision of Edward and me on a porch swing, wearing clothes from another kind of world. A world where it would surprise no one if I wore his ring on my finger. A simpler place, where love was defined in simpler ways. One plus one equals two. . . . Jacob snorted and rolled to his side. His arm swung off the back of the couch and pinned me against his body. Holy crow, but he was heavy! Andhot. It was sweltering after just a few seconds. I tried to slide out from under his arm without waking him, but I had to shove a little bit, and when his arm fell off me, his eyes snapped open. He jumped to his feet, looking around anxiously. “What? What?” he asked, disoriented. “It’s just me, Jake. Sorry I woke you.” He turned to look at me, blinking and confused. “Bella?” “Hey, sleepy.” “Oh, man! Did I fall asleep? I’m sorry! How long was I out?” “A few Emerils. I lost count.” He flopped back on the couch next to me. “Wow. Sorry about that, really.” I patted his hair, trying to smooth the wild disarray. “Don’t feel bad. I’m glad you got some sleep.” He yawned and stretched. “I’m useless these days. No wonder Billy’s always gone. I’m so boring.” “You’re fine,” I assured him. “Ugh, let’s go outside. I need to walk around or I’ll pass out again.” “Jake, go back to sleep. I’m good. I’ll call Edward to come pick me up.” I patted my pockets as I spoke, and realized they were empty. “Shoot, I’ll have to borrow your phone. I think I must have left his in the car.” I started to unfold myself. “No!” Jacob insisted, grabbing my hand. “No, stay. You hardly ever make it down. I can’t believe I wasted all this time.” He pulled me off the couch as he spoke, and then led the way outside, ducking his head as he passed under the doorframe. It had gotten much cooler while Jacob slept; the air was unseasonably cold — there must be a storm on the way. It felt like February, not May. The wintry air seemed to make Jacob more alert. He paced back and forth in front of the house for a minute, dragging me along with him. “I’m an idiot,” he muttered to himself. “What’s the matter, Jake? So you fell asleep.” I shrugged. “I wanted to talk to you. I can’t believe this.” “Talk to me now,” I said. Jacob met my eyes for a second, and then looked away quickly toward the trees. It almost looked like he was blushing, but it was hard to tell with his dark skin. I suddenly remembered what Edward had said when he dropped me off — that Jacob would tell me whatever he was shouting in his head. I started gnawing on my lip. “Look,” Jacob said. “I was planning to do this a little bit differently.” He laughed, and it sounded like he was laughing at himself. “Smoother,” he added. “I was going to work up to it, but” — and he looked at the clouds, dimmer as the afternoon progressed — “I’m out of time to work.” He laughed again, nervous. We were still pacing slowly. “What are you talking about?” I demanded. He took a deep breath. “I want to tell you something. And you already know it . . . but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so there’s never any confusion on the subject.” I planted my feet, and he came to a stop. I took my hand away and folded my arms across my chest. I was suddenly sure that I didn’t want to know what he was building up to. Jacob’s eyebrows pulled down, throwing his deep-set eyes into shadow. They were pitch black as they bored into mine. “I’m in love with you, Bella,” Jacob said in a strong, sure voice. “Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you don’t feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn’t want a miscommunication to stand in our way.” 15. WAGER ISTARED AT HIM FOR A LONG MINUTE, SPEECHLESS. I could not think of one thing to say to him. As he watched my dumbfounded expression, the seriousness left his face. “Okay,” he said, grinning. “That’s all.” “Jake —” It felt like there was something big sticking in my throat. I tried to clear the obstruction. “I can’t — I mean I don’t . . . I have to go.” I turned, but he grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. “No, wait. Iknow that, Bella. But, look, answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and never see you again? Be honest.” It was hard to concentrate on his question, so it took a minute to answer. “No, I don’t want that,” I finally admitted. Jacob grinned again. “See.” “But I don’t want you around for the same reason that you want me around,” I objected. “Tell me exactly why you want me around, then.” I thought carefully. “I miss you when you’re not there. When you’re happy,” I qualified carefully, “it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You’re family. I love you, but I’m notin love with you.” He nodded, unruffled. “But you do want me around.” “Yes.” I sighed. He was impossible to discourage. “Then I’ll stick around.” “You’re a glutton for punishment,” I grumbled. “Yep.” He stroked the tips of his fingers across my right cheek. I slapped his hand away. “Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least?” I asked, irritated. “No, I don’t. You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am — bad behavior included — or not at all.” I stared at him, frustrated. “That’s mean.” “So are you.” That pulled me up short, and I took an involuntary step back. He was right. If I wasn’t mean — and greedy, too — I would tell him I didn’t want to be friends and walk away. It was wrong to try to keep my friend when that would hurt him. I didn’t know what I was doing here, but I was suddenly sure that it wasn’t good. “You’re right,” I whispered. He laughed. “I forgive you. Just try not to gettoo mad at me. Because I recently decided that I’m not giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause.” “Jacob.” I stared into his dark eyes, trying to make him take me seriously. “I lovehim, Jacob. He’s my whole life.” “You love me, too,” he reminded me. He held up his hand when I started to protest. “Not the same way, I know. But he’s not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left. And now he’s just going to have to deal with the consequence of that choice —me. ” I shook my head. “You’re impossible.” Suddenly, he was serious. He took my chin in his hand, holding it firmly so that I couldn’t look away from his intent gaze. “Until your heart stops beating, Bella,” he said. “I’ll be here — fighting. Don’t forget that you have options.” “I don’t want options,” I disagreed, trying to yank my chin free unsuccessfully. “And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone.” His eyes narrowed. “All the more reason to fight — fight harder now, while I can,” he whispered. He still had my chin — his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt — and I saw the resolve form abruptly in his eyes. “N —” I started to object, but it was too late. His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn’t even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way. I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth. Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn’t fight, didn’t feel . . . just waited for him to stop. It worked. The anger seemed to evaporate, and he pulled back to look at me. He pressed his lips softly to mine again, once, twice . . . a third time. I pretended I was a statue and waited. Finally, he let go of my face and leaned away. “Are you done now?” I asked in an expressionless voice. “Yes,” he sighed. He started to smile, closing his eyes. I pulled my arm back and then let it snap forward, punching him in the mouth with as much power as I could force out of my body. There was a crunching sound. “Ow!OW! ” I screamed, frantically hopping up and down in agony while I clutched my hand to my chest. It was broken, I could feel it. Jacob stared at me in shock. “Are you all right?” “No, dammit!You broke my hand! ” “Bella,you broke your hand. Now stop dancing around and let me look at it.” “Don’t touch me! I’m going home right now!” “I’ll get my car,” he said calmly. He wasn’t even rubbing his jaw like they did in the movies. How pathetic. “No, thanks,” I hissed. “I’d rather walk.” I turned toward the road. It was only a few miles to the border. As soon as I got away from him, Alice would see me. She’d send somebody to pick me up. “Just let me drive you home,” Jacob insisted. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to wrap his arm around my waist. I jerked away from him. “Fine!” I growled. “Do!I can’t wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic DOG!” Jacob rolled his eyes. He walked me to the passenger side of his car and helped me in. When he got in the driver’s side, he was whistling. “Didn’t I hurt you at all?” I asked, furious and annoyed. “Are you kidding? If you hadn’t started screaming, I might not have figured out that you were trying to punch me. I may not be made out of stone, but I’m notthat soft.” “I hate you, Jacob Black.” “That’s good. Hate is a passionate emotion.” “I’ll give you passionate,” I muttered under my breath. “Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.” “Oh, c’mon,” he said, all cheery and looking like he was about to start whistling again. “That had to be better than kissing a rock.” “Not even remotely close,” I told him coldly. He pursed his lips. “You could just be saying that.” “But I’m not.” That seemed to bother him for a second, but then he perked up. “You’re just mad. I don’t have any experience with this kind of thing, but I thought it was pretty incredible myself.” “Ugh,” I groaned. “You’re going to think about it tonight. When he thinks you’re asleep, you’ll be thinking about your options.” “If I think about you tonight, it will be because I’m having anightmare. ” He slowed the car to a crawl, turning to stare at me with his dark eyes wide and earnest. “Just think about how it could be, Bella,” he urged in a soft, eager voice. “You wouldn’t have to change anything for me. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me. I could protect you just as well as your vampire can — maybe better. And I would make you happy, Bella. There’s so much I could give you that he can’t. I’ll bet he couldn’t even kiss you like that — because he would hurt you. I would never, never hurt you, Bella.” I held up my injured hand. He sighed. “That wasn’t my fault. You should have known better.” “Jacob, I can’tbe happy without him.” “You’ve never tried,” he disagreed. “When he left, you spent all your energy holding on to him. You could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me.” “I don’t want to be happy with anyone but him,” I insisted. “You’ll never be able to be as sure of him as you are of me. He left you once, he could do it again.” “No, he will not,” I said through my teeth. The pain of the memory bit into me like the lash of a whip. It made me want to hurt him back. “You left me once,” I reminded him in a cold voice, thinking of the weeks he’d hidden from me, the words he’d said to me in the woods beside his home. . . . “I never did,” he argued hotly. “They told me I couldn’t tell you — that it wasn’t safefor you if we were together. But I never left, never! I used to run around your house at night — like I do now. Just making sure you were okay.” I wasn’t about to let him make me feel bad for him now. “Take me home. My hand hurts.” He sighed, and started driving at a normal speed, watching the road. “Just think about it, Bella.” “No,” I said stubbornly. “You will. Tonight. And I’ll be thinking about you while you’re thinking about me.” “Like I said, a nightmare.” He grinned over at me. “You kissed me back.” I gasped, unthinkingly balling my hands up into fists again, hissing when my broken hand reacted. “Are you okay?” he asked. “I didnot. ” “I think I can tell the difference.” “Obviously you can’t — that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off of me, you idiot. ” He laughed a low, throaty laugh. “Touchy. Almostoverly defensive, I would say.” I took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist anything I said. I concentrated on my hand, trying to stretch out my fingers, to ascertain where the broken parts were. Sharp pains stabbed along my knuckles. I groaned. “I’m really sorry about your hand,” Jacob said, sounding almost sincere. “Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?” “Don’t think I’ll forget that,” I muttered. I didn’t realize where we were going until we were on my road. “Why are you taking me here?” I demanded. He looked at me blankly. “I thought you said you were going home?” “Ugh. I guess you can’t take me to Edward’s house, can you?” I ground my teeth in frustration. Pain twisted across his face, and I could see that this affected him more than anything else I’d said. “This is your home, Bella,” he said quietly. “Yes, but do any doctors live here?” I asked, holding up my hand again. “Oh.” He thought about that for a minute. “I’ll take you to the hospital. Or Charlie can.” “I don’t want to go to the hospital. It’s embarrassing and unnecessary.” He let the Rabbit idle in front of the house, deliberating with an unsure expression. Charlie’s cruiser was in the driveway. I sighed. “Go home, Jacob.” I climbed out of the car awkwardly, heading for the house. The engine cut off behind me, and I was less surprised than annoyed to find Jacob beside me again. “What are you going to do?” he asked. “I am going to get some ice on my hand, and then I am going to call Edward and tell him to come and get me and take me to Carlisle so that he can fix my hand. Then, if you’re still here, I am going to go hunt up a crowbar.” He didn’t answer. He opened the front door and held it for me. We walked silently past the front room where Charlie was lying on the sofa. “Hey, kids,” he said, sitting forward. “Nice to seeyou here, Jake.” “Hey, Charlie,” Jacob answered casually, pausing. I stalked on to the kitchen. “What’s wrong with her?” Charlie wondered. “She thinks she broke her hand,” I heard Jacob tell him. I went to the freezer and pulled out a tray of ice cubes. “How did she do that?” As my father, I thought Charlie ought to sound a bit less amused and a bit more concerned. Jacob laughed. “She hit me.” Charlie laughed, too, and I scowled while I beat the tray against the edge of the sink. The ice scattered inside the basin, and I grabbed a handful with my good hand and wrapped the cubes in the dishcloth on the counter. “Why did she hit you?” “Because I kissed her,” Jacob said, unashamed. “Good for you, kid,” Charlie congratulated him. I ground my teeth and went for the phone. I dialed Edward’s cell. “Bella?” he answered on the first ring. He sounded more than relieved — he was delighted. I could hear the Volvo’s engine in the background; he was already in the car — that was good. “You left the phone . . . I’m sorry, did Jacob drive you home?” “Yes,” I grumbled. “Will you come and get me, please?” “I’m on my way,” he said at once. “What’s wrong?” “I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it’s broken.” It had gone quiet in the front room, and I wondered when Jacob would bolt. I smiled a grim smile, imagining his discomfort. “What happened?” Edward demanded, his voice going flat. “I punched Jacob,” I admitted. “Good,” Edward said bleakly. “Though I’m sorry you’re hurt.” I laughed once, because he sounded as pleased as Charlie had. “I wish I’d hurthim. ” I sighed in frustration. “I didn’t do any damage at all.” “I can fix that,” he offered. “I was hoping you would say that.” There was a slight pause. “That doesn’t sound like you,” he said, wary now. “What did hedo ?” “He kissed me,” I growled. All I heard on the other end of the line was the sound of an engine accelerating. In the other room, Charlie spoke again. “Maybe you ought to take off, Jake,” he suggested. “I think I’ll hang out here, if you don’t mind.” “Your funeral,” Charlie muttered. “Is the dog still there?” Edward finally spoke again. “Yes.” “I’m around the corner,” he said darkly, and the line disconnected. As I hung up the phone, smiling, I heard the sound of his car racing down the street. The brakes protested loudly as he slammed to a stop out front. I went to get the door. “How’s your hand?” Charlie asked as I walked by. Charlie looked uncomfortable. Jacob lolled next to him on the sofa, perfectly at ease. I lifted the ice pack to show it off. “It’s swelling.” “Maybe you should pick on people your own size,” Charlie suggested. “Maybe,” I agreed. I walked on to open the door. Edward was waiting. “Let me see,” he murmured. He examined my hand gently, so carefully that it caused me no pain at all. His hands were almost as cold as the ice, and they felt good against my skin. “I think you’re right about the break,” he said. “I’m proud of you. You must have put some force behind this.” “As much as I have.” I sighed. “Not enough, apparently.” He kissed my hand softly. “I’ll take care of it,” he promised. And then he called, “Jacob,” his voice still quiet and even. “Now, now,” Charlie cautioned. I heard Charlie heave himself off of the sofa. Jacob got to the hall first, and much more quietly, but Charlie was not far behind him. Jacob’s expression was alert and eager. “I don’t want any fighting, do you understand?” Charlie looked only at Edward when he spoke. “I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official.” “That won’t be necessary,” Edward said in a restrained tone. “Why don’t you arrest me, Dad?” I suggested. “I’m the one throwing punches.” Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to press charges, Jake?” “No.” Jacob grinned, incorrigible. “I’ll take the trade any day.” Edward grimaced. “Dad, don’t you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute.” Charlie looked at me evenly. “Enough, Bella.” “Let’s go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell,” Edward said. He put his arm around me and pulled me toward the door. “Fine,” I said, leaning against him. I wasn’t so angry anymore, now that Edward was with me. I felt comforted, and my hand didn’t bother me as much. We were walking down the sidewalk when I heard Charlie whispering anxiously behind me. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?” “Give me a minute, Charlie,” Jacob answered. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” I looked back and Jacob was following us, stopping to close the door in Charlie’s surprised and uneasy face. Edward ignored him at first, leading me to the car. He helped me inside, shut the door, and then turned to face Jacob on the sidewalk. I leaned anxiously through the open window. Charlie was visible in the house, peeking through the drapes in the front room. Jacob’s stance was casual, his arms folded across his chest, but the muscles in his jaw were tight. Edward spoke in a voice so peaceful and gentle that it made the words strangely more threatening. “I’m not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella.” “Hmph,” I grumbled. Edward turned slightly to throw me a quick smile. His face was still calm. “It would bother you in the morning,” he said, brushing his fingers across my cheek. Then he turned back to Jacob. “But if you ever bring her back damaged again — and I don’t care whose fault it is; I don’t care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head — if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?” Jacob rolled his eyes. “Who’s going back?” I muttered. Edward continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “And if you ever kiss her again, Iwill break your jaw for her,” he promised, his voice still gentle and velvet and deadly. “What if she wants me to?” Jacob drawled, arrogant. “Hah!” I snorted. “If that’s what she wants, then I won’t object.” Edward shrugged, untroubled. “You might want to wait for her tosay it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language — but it’s your face.” Jacob grinned. “You wish,” I grumbled. “Yes, he does,” Edward murmured. “Well, if you’re done rummaging through my head,” Jacob said with a thick edge of annoyance, “why don’t you go take care of her hand?” “One more thing,” Edward said slowly. “I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.” “Good,” Jacob growled. “It’s no fun beating someone who forfeits.” “Sheis mine.” Edward’s low voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before. “I didn’t say I would fight fair.” “Neither did I.” “Best of luck.” Jacob nodded. “Yes, may the bestman win.” “That sounds about right . . . pup.” Jacob grimaced briefly, then he composed his face and leaned around Edward to smile at me. I glowered back. “I hope your hand feels better soon. I’m really sorry you’re hurt.” Childishly, I turned my face away from him. I didn’t look up again as Edward walked around the car and climbed into the driver’s side, so I didn’t know if Jacob went back into the house or continued to stand there, watching me. “How do you feel?” Edward asked as we drove away. “Irritated.” He chuckled. “I meant your hand.” I shrugged. “I’ve had worse.” “True,” he agreed, and frowned. Edward drove around the house to the garage. Emmett and Rosalie were there, Rosalie’s perfect legs, recognizable even sheathed in jeans, were sticking out from under the bottom of Emmett’s huge Jeep. Emmett was sitting beside her, one hand reached under the Jeep toward her. It took me a moment to realize that he was acting as the jack. Emmett watched curiously as Edward helped me carefully out of the car. His eyes zeroed in on the hand I cradled against my chest. Emmett grinned. “Fall down again, Bella?” I glared at him fiercely. “No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.” Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter. As Edward led me past them, Rosalie spoke from under the car. “Jasper’s going to win the bet,” she said smugly. Emmett’s laughter stopped at once, and he studied me with appraising eyes. “What bet?” I demanded, pausing. “Let’s get you to Carlisle,” Edward urged. He was staring at Emmett. His head shook infinitesimally. “What bet?”I insisted as I turned on him. “Thanks, Rosalie,” he muttered as he tightened his arm around my waist and pulled me toward the house. “Edward . . . ,” I grumbled. “It’s infantile,” he shrugged. “Emmett and Jasper like to gamble.” “Emmett will tell me.” I tried to turn, but his arm was like iron around me. He sighed. “They’re betting on how many times you . . . slip up in the first year.” “Oh.” I grimaced, trying to hide my sudden horror as I realized what he meant. “They have a bet about how many people I’ll kill?” “Yes,” he admitted unwillingly. “Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper’s favor.” I felt a little high. “Jasper’s betting high.” “It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He’s tired of being the weakest link.” “Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?” I was babbling, my voice a blank monotone. In my head, I was seeing newspaper headlines, lists of names. . . . He squeezed me. “You don’t need to worry about it now. In fact, you don’t have to worry about it ever, if you don’t want to.” I groaned, and Edward, thinking it was the pain in my hand that bothered me, pulled me faster toward the house. My handwas broken, but there wasn’t any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. I didn’t want a cast, and Carlisle said I’d be fine in a brace if I promised to keep it on. I promised. Edward could tell I was out of it as Carlisle worked to fit a brace carefully to my hand. He worried aloud a few times that I was in pain, but I assured him that that wasn’t it. As if I needed — or even had room for — one more thing to worry about. All of Jasper’s stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since he’d explained his past. Now those stories jumped into sharp focus with the news of his and Emmett’s wager. I wondered randomly what they were betting. What was a motivating prize when you had everything? I’d always known that I would be different. I hoped that I would be as strong as Edward said I would be. Strong and fast and, most of all, beautiful. Someone who could stand next to Edward and feel like she belonged there. I’d been trying not to think too much about the other things that I would be. Wild. Bloodthirsty. Maybe I would not be able to stop myself from killing people. Strangers, people who had never harmed me. People like the growing number of victims in Seattle, who’d had families and friends and futures. People who’d hadlives. And I could be the monster who took that away from them. But, in truth, I could handle that part — because I trusted Edward, trusted him absolutely, to keep me from doing anything I would regret. I knew he’d take me to Antarctica and hunt penguins if I asked him to. And I would do whatever it took to be a good person. A good vampire. That thought would have made me giggle, if not for this new worry. Because, if I really were somehow like that — like the nightmarish images of newborns that Jasper had painted in my head — could I possibly beme ? And if all I wanted was to kill people, what would happen to the things I wantednow ? Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I was human. Usually, it seemed kind of silly. There weren’t many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with Edward, what else could I ask for? I stared at his face while he watched Carlisle fix my hand. There was nothing in this world that I wanted more than him. Would that,could that, change? Was there a human experience that I wasnot willing to give up? 16. EPOCH “IHAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!” I MOANED TO MYSELF. Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear. My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that said special occasion. I was coming up empty. It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something better here — and the odds weren’t looking good at this point — I was going to graduate in them. I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed. The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available — my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand. “Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!” I growled. “What did I do?” Alice demanded. She was leaning casually beside the open window as if she’d been there the whole time. “Knock, knock,” she added with a grin. “Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?” She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. “I’m just passing through. I thought you might need something to wear.” I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced. “Admit it,” Alice said. “I’m a lifesaver.” “You’re a lifesaver,” I muttered. “Thanks.” “Well, it’s nice to get something right for a change. You don’t know how irritating it is — missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So . . . normal.” She cringed in horror of the word. “I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.” She laughed. “Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief — now I just have to figure out what I’m not seeing in Seattle.” When she said the words that way — putting the two situations together in one sentence — right then it clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I couldn’t quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever expression was already in place. “Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked. She sighed when I didn’t move immediately, and tugged the top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldn’t concentrate on what it was. “Pretty, don’t you think? I picked blue, because I know it’s Edward’s favorite on you.” I wasn’t listening. “It’s the same,” I whispered. “What is?” she demanded. “You don’t have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one skirt!” “No, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!” “You don’t like it?” Alice’s face clouded with disappointment. “Listen, Alice, don’t you see? It’s thesame ! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. They’re together!” The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box. Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. “Why do you think that?” “Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect — how careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds thattwo different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. It’s one person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent.” Alice wasn’t accustomed to being taking by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started counting in my head as I waited. She didn’t move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on me. “You’re right,” she said in a hollow tone. “Of course you’re right. And when you put it that way. . . .” “Edward had it wrong,” I whispered. “It was a test . . . to see if it would work. If he could get in and out safely as long as he didn’t do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me. . . . And he didn’t take my things to prove he’d found me. He stole my scent . . . so thatothers could find me.” Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too. “Oh, no,” she mouthed. I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had created an army of vampires — the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle — for the express purpose of destroyingme, I felt a spasm of relief. Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital. But the larger part was something else entirely. “Well,” I whispered, “everyone can relax. Nobody’s trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.” “If you think that one thing has changed, you’re absolutely wrong,” Alice said through her teeth. “If someone wants one of us, they’re going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her.” “Thanks, Alice. But at least we know what they’re really after. That has to help.” “Maybe,” she muttered. She started pacing back and forth across my room. Thud, thud— a fist hammered against my door. I jumped. Alice didn’t seem to notice. “Aren’t you ready yet? We’re gonna be late!” Charlie complained, sounding edgy. Charlie hated occasions about as much as I did. In his case, a lot of the problem was having to dress up. “Almost. Give me a minute,” I said hoarsely. He was quiet for half a second. “Are you crying?” “No. I’m nervous. Go away.” I heard him clump down the stairs. “I have to go,” Alice whispered. “Why?” “Edward is coming. If he hears this . . .” “Go, go!” I urged immediately. Edward would go berserk when he knew. I couldn’t keep it from him for long, but maybe the graduation ceremony wasn’t the best time for his reaction. “Put it on,” Alice commanded as she flitted out the window. I did what she said, dressing in a daze. I’d been planning to do something more sophisticated with my hair, but time was up, so it hung straight and boring as on any other day. It didn’t matter. I didn’t bother to look in the mirror, so I had no idea how Alice’s sweater and skirt ensemble worked. That didn’t matter, either. I threw the ugly yellow polyester graduation robe over my arm and hurried down the stairs. “You look nice,” Charlie said, already gruff with suppressed emotion. “Is that new?” “Yeah,” I mumbled, trying to concentrate. “Alice gave it to me. Thanks.” Edward arrived just a few minutes after his sister left. It wasn’t enough time for me to pull together a calm façade. But, since we were riding in the cruiser with Charlie, he never had a chance to ask me what was wrong. Charlie had gotten stubborn last week when he’d learned that I was intending to ride with Edward to the graduation ceremony. And I could see his point — parents should have some rights come graduation day. I’d conceded with good grace, and Edward had cheerfully suggested that we all go together. Since Carlisle and Esme had no problem with this, Charlie couldn’t come up with a compelling objection; he’d agreed with poor grace. And now Edward rode in the backseat of my father’s police car, behind the fiberglass divider, with an amused expression — probably due to my father’s amused expression, and the grin that widened every time Charlie stole a glance at Edward in his rearview mirror. Which almost certainly meant that Charlie was imagining things that would get him in trouble with me if he said them out loud. “Are you all right?” Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot. “Nervous,” I answered, and it wasn’t even a lie. “You are so beautiful,” he said. He looked like he wanted to say more, but Charlie, in an obvious maneuver that he meant to be subtle, shrugged in between us and put his arm around my shoulders. “Are you excited?” he asked me. “Not really,” I admitted. “Bella, this is a big deal. You’re graduating from high school. It’s the real world for you now. College. Living on your own. . . . You’re not my little girl anymore.” Charlie choked up a bit at the end. “Dad,” I moaned. “Please don’t get all weepy on me.” “Who’s weepy?” he growled. “Now, why aren’t you excited?” “I don’t know, Dad. I guess it hasn’t hit yet or something.” “It’s good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up.” “Sure. A party’s exactly what I need.” Charlie laughed at my tone and squeezed my shoulders. Edward looked at the clouds, his face thoughtful. My father had to leave us at the back door of the gym and go around to the main entrance with the rest of the parents. It was pandemonium as Ms. Cope from the front office and Mr. Varner the math teacher tried to line everyone up alphabetically. “Up front, Mr. Cullen,” Mr. Varner barked at Edward. “Hey, Bella!” I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the back of the line with a smile on her face. Edward kissed me quickly, sighed, and went to go stand with the C’s. Alice wasn’t there. What was she going to do? Skip graduation? What poor timing on my part. I should have waited to figure things out until after this was over with. “Down here, Bella!” Jessica called again. I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity. Jess was babbling before I was in earshot. “. . . so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we’re graduating together,” she gushed. “Can you believe it’s over? I feel like screaming!” “So do I,” I muttered. “This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now I’m off to California and you’ll be in Alaska and I’m going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we’ll get together sometimes! I’m so glad you’re having a party. That’s perfect. Because we really haven’t spent much time together in a while and now we’re all leaving. . . .” She droned on and on, and I was sure the sudden return of our friendship was due to graduation nostalgia and gratitude for the party invite, not that I’d had anything to do with that. I paid attention as well as I could while I shrugged into my robe. And I found that I was glad that things could end on a good note with Jessica. Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning “beginning” and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we were all leaving something behind us today. It went so quickly. I felt like I’d hit the fast forward button. Were we supposed to march quite that fast? And then Eric was speed talking in his nervousness, the words and phrases running together so they didn’t make sense anymore. Principal Greene started calling names, one after the other without a long enough pause between; the front row in the gymnasium was rushing to catch up. Poor Ms. Cope was all thumbs as she tried to give the principal the right diploma to hand to the right student. I watched as Alice, suddenly appearing, danced across the stage to take hers, a look of deep concentration on her face. Edward followed behind, his expression confused, but not upset. Only the two of them could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how I’d ever fallen for their human farce. A couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous. I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billy’s head beside Jake’s elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile. Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin as we filed past. “Congratulations, Miss Stanley,” he mumbled as Jess took hers. “Congratulations, Miss Swan,” he mumbled to me, pressing the diploma into my good hand. “Thanks,” I murmured. And that was it. I went to stand next to Jessica with the assembled graduates. Jess was all red around the eyes, and she kept blotting her face with the sleeve of her robe. It took me a second to understand that she was crying. Mr. Greene said something I didn’t hear, and everyone around me shouted and screamed. Yellow hats rained down. I pulled mine off, too late, and just let it fall to the ground. “Oh, Bella!” Jess blubbered over the sudden roar of conversation. “I can’t believe we’re done.” “I can’t believe it’s all over,” I mumbled. She threw her arms around my neck. “You have to promise we won’t lose touch.” I hugged her back, feeling a little awkward as I dodged her request. “I’m so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years.” “It was,” she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. “Lauren!” she squealed, waving over her head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us tighter together. I caught sight of Angela and Ben, but they were surrounded by their families. I would congratulate them later. I craned my head, looking for Alice. “Congratulations,” Edward whispered in my ear, his arms winding around my waist. His voice was subdued; he’d been in no hurry for me to reach this particular milestone. “Um, thanks.” “You don’t look like you’re over the nerves yet,” he noted. “Not quite yet.” “What’s left to worry about? The party? It won’t be that horrible.” “You’re probably right.” “Who are you looking for?” My searching wasn’t quite as subtle as I’d thought. “Alice — where is she?” “She ran out as soon as she had her diploma.” His voice took on a new tone. I looked up to see his confused expression as he stared toward the back door of the gym, and I made an impulse decision — the kind I really should think twice about, but rarely did. “Worrying about Alice?” I asked. “Er . . .” He didn’t want to answer that. “What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean.” His eyes flashed down to my face, and narrowed in suspicion. “She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language.” I laughed nervously. “I suppose thatwould keep her head busy enough.” “You know what she’s hiding from me,” he accused. “Sure.” I smiled a weak smile. “I’m the one who came up with it.” He waited, confused. I looked around. Charlie would be on his way through the crowd now. “Knowing Alice,” I whispered in a rush, “she’ll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I’m all for the party being canceled — well, don’t go berserk, regardless, okay? It’s always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow.” “What are you talking about?” I saw Charlie’s head bob up over the other heads as he searched for me. He spotted me and waved. “Just stay calm, okay?” He nodded once, his mouth a grim line. In hurried whispers I explained my reasoning to him. “I think you’re wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it’s mostly coming at us from one side . . . and I think it’s coming at me, really. It’s all connected, it has to be. It’s just one person who’s messing with Alice’s visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It’s got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes — all of it goes together. My scent is for them.” His face had turned so white that I had a hard time finishing. “But no one’s coming for you, don’t you see? This is good — Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!” His eyes were huge, wide with panic, dazed and horrified. He could see that I was right, just as Alice had. I put my hand on his cheek. “Calm,” I pleaded. “Bella!” Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us. “Congratulations, baby!” He was still yelling, even though he was right at my ear now. He wrapped his arms around me, ever so slyly shuffling Edward off to the side as he did so. “Thanks,” I muttered, preoccupied by the expression on Edward’s face. He still hadn’t gained control. His hands were halfway extended toward me, like he was about to grab me and make a run for it. Only slightly more in control of myself than he was, running didn’t seem like such a terrible idea to me. “Jacob and Billy had to take off — did you see that they were here?” Charlie asked, taking a step back, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. He had his back to Edward — probably an effort to exclude him, but that was fine at the moment. Edward’s mouth was hanging open, his eyes still wide with dread. “Yeah,” I assured my father, trying to pay enough attention. “Heard them, too.” “It was nice of them to show up,” Charlie said. “Mm-hmm.” Okay, so telling Edward had been a really bad idea. Alice was right to keep her thoughts clouded. I should have waited till we were alone somewhere, maybe with the rest of his family. And nothing breakable close by — like windows . . . cars . . . school buildings. His face brought back all my fear and then some. Though his expression was past the fear now — it was pure fury that was suddenly plain on his features. “So where do you want to go out for dinner?” Charlie asked. “The sky’s the limit.” “I can cook.” “Don’t be silly. Do you want to go to the Lodge?” he asked with an eager smile. I did not particularly enjoy Charlie’s favorite restaurant, but, at this point, what was the difference? I wasn’t going to be able to eat anyway. “Sure, the Lodge, cool,” I said. Charlie smiled wider, and then sighed. He turned his head halfway toward Edward, without really looking at him. “You coming, too, Edward?” I stared at him, my eyes beseeching. Edward pulled his expression together just before Charlie turned to see why he hadn’t gotten an answer. “No, thank you,” Edward said stiffly, his face hard and cold. “Do you have plans with your parents?” Charlie asked, a frown in his voice. Edward was always more polite than Charlie deserved; the sudden hostility surprised him. “Yes. If you’ll excuse me. . . .” Edward turned abruptly and stalked away through the dwindling crowd. He moved just a little bit too fast, too upset to keep up his usually perfect charade. “What did I say?” Charlie asked with a guilty expression. “Don’t worry about it, Dad,” I reassured him. “I don’t think it’s you.” “Are you two fighting again?” “Nobody’s fighting. Mind your own business.” “Youare my business.” I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go eat.” The Lodge was crowded. The place was, in my opinion, overpriced and tacky, but it was the only thing close to a formal restaurant in town, so it was always popular for events. I stared morosely at a depressed-looking stuffed elk head while Charlie ate prime rib and talked over the back of the seat to Tyler Crowley’s parents. It was noisy — everyone there had just come from graduation, and most were chatting across the aisles and over the booth-tops like Charlie. I had my back to the front windows, and I resisted the urge to turn around and search for the eyes I could feel on me now. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see anything. Just as I knew there was no chance that he would leave me unguarded, even for a second. Not after this. Dinner dragged. Charlie, busy socializing, ate too slowly. I picked at my burger, stuffing pieces of it into my napkin when I was sure his attention was somewhere else. It all seemed to take a very long time, but when I looked at the clock — which I did more often than necessary — the hands hadn’t moved much. Finally Charlie got his change back and put a tip on the table. I stood up. “In a hurry?” he asked me. “I want to help Alice set things up,” I claimed. “Okay.” He turned away from me to say goodnight to everyone. I went out to wait by the cruiser. I leaned against the passenger door, waiting for Charlie to drag himself away from the impromptu party. It was almost dark in the parking lot, the clouds so thick that there was no telling if the sun had set or not. The air felt heavy, like it was about to rain. Something moved in the shadows. My gasp turned into a sigh of relief as Edward appeared out of the gloom. Without a word, he pulled me tightly against his chest. One cool hand found my chin, and pulled my face up so that he could press his hard lips to mine. I could feel the tension in his jaw. “How are you?” I asked as soon as he let me breathe. “Not so great,” he murmured. “But I’ve got a handle on myself. I’m sorry that I lost it back there.” “My fault. I should have waited to tell you.” “No,” he disagreed. “This is something I needed to know. I can’t believe I didn’t see it!” “You’ve got a lot on your mind.” “And you don’t?” He suddenly kissed me again, not letting me answer. He pulled away after just a second. “Charlie’s on his way.” “I’ll have him drop me at your house.” “I’ll follow you there.” “That’s not really necessary,” I tried to say, but he was already gone. “Bella?” Charlie called from the doorway of the restaurant, squinting into the darkness. “I’m out here.” Charlie sauntered out to the car, muttering about impatience. “So, how do you feel?” he asked me as we drove north along the highway. “It’s been a big day.” “I feel fine,” I lied. He laughed, seeing through me easily. “Worried about the party?” he guessed. “Yeah,” I lied again. This time he didn’t notice. “You were never one for the parties.” “Wonder where I got that from,” I murmured. Charlie chuckled. “Well, you look really nice. I wish I’d thought to get you something. Sorry.” “Don’t be silly, Dad.” “It’s not silly. I feel like I don’t always do everything for you that I should.” “That’s ridiculous. You do a fantastic job. World’s best dad. And . . .” It wasn’t easy to talk about feelings with Charlie, but I persevered after clearing my throat. “And I’m really glad I came to live with you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had. So don’t worry — you’re just experiencing post-graduation pessimism.” He snorted. “Maybe. But I’m sure I slipped up in a few places. I mean, look at your hand!” I stared down blankly at my hands. My left hand rested lightly on the dark brace I rarely thought about. My broken knuckle didn’t hurt much anymore. “I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that.” “I thought you were on Jacob’s side?” “No matter what side I’m on, if someone kisses you without your permission, you should be able to make your feelings clear without hurting yourself. You didn’t keep your thumb inside your fist, did you?” “No, Dad. That’s kind of sweet in a weird way, but I don’t think lessons would have helped. Jacob’s head isreally hard.” Charlie laughed. “Hit him in the gut next time.” “Next time?” I asked incredulously. “Aw, don’t be too hard on the kid. He’s young.” “He’s obnoxious.” “He’s still your friend.” “I know.” I sighed. “I don’t really know what the right thing to do here is, Dad.” Charlie nodded slowly. “Yeah. The right thing isn’t always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So . . . good luck figuring that out.” “Thanks,” I muttered dryly. Charlie laughed again, and then frowned. “If this party gets too wild . . . ,” he began. “Don’t worry about it, Dad. Carlisle and Esme are going to be there. I’m sure you can come, too, if you want.” Charlie grimaced as he squinted through the windshield into the night. Charlie enjoyed a good party just about as much as I did. “Where’s the turnoff, again?” he asked. “They ought to clear out their drive — it’s impossible to find in the dark.” “Just around the next bend, I think.” I pursed my lips. “You know, you’re right — it is impossible to find. Alice said she put a map in the invitation, but even so, maybe everyone will get lost.” I cheered up slightly at the idea. “Maybe,” Charlie said as the road curved to the east. “Or maybe not.” The black velvet darkness was interrupted ahead, just where the Cullens’ drive should be. Someone had wrapped the trees on either side in thousands of twinkle lights, impossible to miss. “Alice,” I said sourly. “Wow,” Charlie said as we turned onto the drive. The two trees at the entry weren’t the only ones lit. Every twenty feet or so, another shining beacon guided us toward the big white house. All the way — all three miles of the way. “She doesn’t do things halfway, does she?” Charlie mumbled in awe. “Sure you don’t want to come in?” “Extremely sure. Have fun, kid.” “Thanks so much, Dad.” He was laughing to himself as I got out and shut the door. I watched him drive away, still grinning. With a sigh, I marched up the stairs to endure my party. 17. ALLIANCE “BELLA?” Edward’s soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and kissed me again. This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine — like he was afraid we only had so much time left to us. I couldn’t let myself think about that. Not if I was going to have to act human for the next several hours. I pulled away from him. “Let’s get this stupid party over with,” I mumbled, not meeting his eyes. He put his hands on either side of my face, waiting until I looked up. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” I touched his lips with the fingers of my good hand. “I’m not worried about myself so much.” “Why am I not surprised by that?” he muttered to himself. He took a deep breath, and then he smiled slightly. “Ready to celebrate?” he asked. I groaned. He held the door for me, keeping his arm securely around my waist. I stood frozen there for a minute, then I slowly shook my head. “Unbelievable.” Edward shrugged. “Alice will be Alice.” The interior of the Cullens’ home had been transformed into a nightclub — the kind that didn’t often exist in real life, only on TV. “Edward!” Alice called from beside a gigantic speaker. “I need your advice.” She gestured toward a towering stack of CDs. “Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or” — she gestured to a different pile — “educate their taste in music?” “Keep it comforting,” Edward recommended. “You can only lead the horse to water.” Alice nodded seriously, and started throwing the educational CDs into a box. I noticed that she had changed into a sequined tank top and red leather pants. Her bare skin reacted oddly to the pulsing red and purple lights. “I think I’m underdressed.” “You’re perfect,” Edward disagreed. “You’ll do,” Alice amended. “Thanks.” I sighed. “Do you really think people will come?” Anyone could hear the hope in my voice. Alice made a face at me. “Everyone will come,” Edward answered. “They’re all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens’ mystery house.” “Fabulous,” I moaned. There wasn’t anything I could do to help. I doubted that — even after I didn’t need sleep and moved at a much faster speed — I would ever be able to get things done the way Alice did. Edward refused to let me go for a second, dragging me along with him as he hunted up Jasper and then Carlisle to tell them of my epiphany. I listened with quiet horror as they discussed their attack on the army in Seattle. I could tell that Jasper was not pleased with the way the numbers stood, but they’d been unable to contact anyone besides Tanya’s unwilling family. Jasper didn’t try to hide his desperation the way Edward would have. It was easy to see that he didn’t like gambling with stakes this high. I couldn’t stay behind, waiting and hoping for them to come home. I wouldn’t. I would go mad. The doorbell rang. All at once, everything was surreally normal. A perfect smile, genuine and warm, replaced the stress on Carlisle’s face. Alice turned the volume of the music up, and then danced to get the door. It was a Suburban-load of my friends, either too nervous or too intimidated to arrive on their own. Jessica was the first one in the door, with Mike right behind her. Tyler, Conner, Austin, Lee, Samantha . . . even Lauren trailing in last, her critical eyes alight with curiosity. They all were curious, and then overwhelmed as they took in the huge room decked out like a chic rave. The room wasn’t empty; all the Cullens had taken their places, ready to put on their usual perfect human charade. Tonight I felt like I was acting every bit as much as they were. I went to greet Jess and Mike, hoping the edge in my voice sounded like the right kind of excitement. Before I could get to anyone else, the bell rang again. I let Angela and Ben in, leaving the door wide, because Eric and Katie were just reaching the steps. I didn’t get another chance to panic. I had to talk to everyone, concentrate on being upbeat, a hostess. Though the party had been billed as a joint event for Alice, Edward, and me, there was no denying that I was the most popular target for congratulations and thanks. Maybe because the Cullens looked just slightly wrong under Alice’s party lights. Maybe because those lights left the room dim and mysterious. Not an atmosphere to make your average human feel relaxed when standing next to someone like Emmett. I saw Emmett grin at Mike over the food table, the red lights gleaming off his teeth, and watched Mike take an automatic step back. Probably Alice had done this on purpose, to force me into the center of attention — a place she thought I should enjoy more. She was forever trying to make me be human the way she thought humans should be. The party was a clear success, despite the instinctive edginess cause by the Cullens’ presence — or maybe that simply added a thrill to the atmosphere. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic. From the way the food disappeared, that must have been good, too. The room was soon crowded, though never claustrophobic. The entire senior class seemed to be there, along with most of the juniors. Bodies swayed to the beat that rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of breaking into a dance. It wasn’t as hard as I’d thought it would be. I followed Alice’s lead, mingling and chatting for a minute with everyone. They seemed easy enough to please. I was sure this party was far cooler than anything the town of Forks had experienced before. Alice was almost purring — no one here would forget this night. I’d circled the room once, and was back to Jessica. She babbled excitedly, and it was not necessary to pay strict attention, because the odds were she wouldn’t need a response from me anytime soon. Edward was at my side — still refusing to let go of me. He kept one hand securely at my waist, pulling me closer now and then in response to thoughts I probably didn’t want to hear. So I was immediately suspicious when he dropped his arm and edged away from me. “Stay here,” he murmured in my ear. “I’ll be right back.” He passed gracefully through the crowd without seeming to touch any of the close-packed bodies, gone too quickly for me to ask why he was leaving. I stared after him with narrowed eyes while Jessica shouted over the music eagerly, hanging on to my elbow, oblivious to my distraction. I watched him as he reached the dark shadow beside the kitchen doorway, where the lights only shone intermittently. He was leaning over someone, but I couldn’t see past all the heads between us. I stretched up on my toes, craning my neck. Right then, a red light flashed across his back and glinted off the red sequins of Alice’s shirt. The light only touched her face for half a second, but it was enough. “Excuse me for a minute, Jess,” I mumbled, pulling my arm away. I didn’t pause for her reaction, even to see if I’d hurt her feelings with my abruptness. I ducked my way through the bodies, getting shoved around a bit. A few people were dancing now. I hurried to the kitchen door. Edward was gone, but Alice was still there in the dark, her face blank — the kind of expressionless look you see on the face of someone who has just witnessed a horrible accident. One of her hands gripped the door frame, like she needed the support. “What, Alice, what? What did you see?” My hands were clutched in front of me — begging. She didn’t look at me, she was staring away. I followed her gaze and watched as she caught Edward’s eye across the room. His face was empty as a stone. He turned and disappeared into the shadows under the stair. The doorbell rang just then, hours after the last time, and Alice looked up with a puzzled expression that quickly turned into one of disgust. “Who invited the werewolf?” she griped at me. I scowled. “Guilty.” I’d thought I’d rescinded that invitation — not that I’d ever dreamed Jacob would comehere, regardless. “Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle.” “No, Alice, wait!” I tried to reach for her arm, but she was gone and my hand clutched the empty air. “Damn it!” I grumbled. I knew this was it. Alice had seen what she’d been waiting for, and I honestly didn’t feel I could stand the suspense long enough to answer the door. The doorbell peeled again, too long, someone holding down the button. I turned my back toward the door resolutely, and scanned the darkened room for Alice. I couldn’t see anything. I started pushing for the stairs. “Hey, Bella!” Jacob’s deep voice caught a lull in the music, and I looked up in spite of myself at the sound of my name. I made a face. It wasn’t just one werewolf, it was three. Jacob had let himself in, flanked on either side by Quil and Embry. The two of them looked terribly tense, their eyes flickering around the room like they’d just walked into a haunted crypt. Embry’s trembling hand still held the door, his body half-turned to run for it. Jacob was waving at me, calmer than the others, though his nose was wrinkled in disgust. I waved back — waved goodbye — and turned to look for Alice. I squeezed through a space between Conner’s and Lauren’s backs. He came out of nowhere, his hand on my shoulder pulling me back toward the shadow by the kitchen. I ducked under his grip, but he grabbed my good wrist and yanked me from the crowd. “Friendly reception,” he noted. I pulled my hand free and scowled at him. “What are youdoing here?” “You invited me, remember?” “In case my right hook was too subtle for you, let me translate: that was meun inviting you.” “Don’t be a poor sport. I brought you a graduation present and everything.” I folded my arms across my chest. I didn’t want to fight with Jacob right now. I wanted to know what Alice had seen and what Edward and Carlisle were saying about it. I craned my head around Jacob, searching for them. “Take it back to the store, Jake. I’ve got to do something. . . .” He stepped into my line of sight, demanding my attention. “I can’t take it back. I didn’t get it from the store — I made it myself. Took a really long time, too.” I leaned around him again, but I couldn’t see any of the Cullens. Where had they gone? My eyes scanned the darkened room. “Oh, c’mon, Bell. Don’t pretend like I’m not here!” “I’m not.” I couldn’t see them anywhere. “Look, Jake, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.” He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up. “Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Miss Swan?” I jerked away from his touch. “Keep your hands to yourself, Jacob,” I hissed. “Sorry!” he said at once, holding his hands up in surrender. “I really am sorry. About the other day, I mean, too. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess . . . well, I guess I deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to.” “Deluded — what a perfect description!” “Be nice. You could accept my apology, you know.” “Fine. Apology accepted. Now, if you’ll just excuse me for a moment . . .” “Okay,” he mumbled, and his voice was so different from before that I stoppd searching for Alice and scrutinized his face. He was staring at the floor, hiding his eyes. His lower lip jutted out just a little bit. “I guess you’d rather be with yourreal friends,” he said in the same defeated tone. “I get it.” I groaned. “Aw, Jake, you know that’s not fair.” “Do I?” “Youshould. ” I leaned forward, peering up, trying to look into his eyes. He looked up then, over my head, avoiding my gaze. “Jake?” He refused to look at me. “Hey, you said you made me something, right?” I asked. “Was that just talk? Where’s my present?” My attempt to fake enthusiasm was pretty sad, but it worked. He rolled his eyes and then grimaced at me. I kept up the lame pretense, holding my hand open in front of me. “I’m waiting.” “Right,” he grumbled sarcastically. But he also reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small bag of a loose-woven, multi-colored fabric. It was tied shut with leather drawstrings. He set it on my palm. “Hey, that’s pretty, Jake. Thanks!” He sighed. “The present isinside, Bella.” “Oh.” I had some trouble with the strings. He sighed again and took it from me, sliding the ties open with one easy tug of the right cord. I held my hand out for it, but he turned the bag upside down and shook something silver into my hand. Metal links clinked quietly against each other. “I didn’t make the bracelet,” he admitted. “Just the charm.” Fastened to one of the links of the silver bracelet was a tiny wooden carving. I held it between my fingers to look at it closer. It was amazing the amount of detail involved in the little figurine — the miniature wolf was utterly realistic. It was even carved out of some red-brown wood that matched the color of his skin. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “Youmade this? How?” He shrugged. “It’s something Billy taught me. He’s better at it than I am.” “That’s hard to believe,” I murmured, turning the tiny wolf around and around in my fingers. “Do you really like it?” “Yes! It’s unbelievable, Jake.” He smiled, happily at first, but then the expression soured. “Well, I figured that maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind.” I ignored the attitude. “Here, help me put it on.” I held out my left wrist, since the right was stuck in the brace. He fastened the catch easily, though it looked too delicate for his big fingers to manage. “You’ll wear it?” he asked. “Of course I will.” He grinned at me — it was the happy smile that I loved to see him wear. I returned it for a moment, but then my eyes shot reflexively around the room again, anxiously scanning the crowd for some sign of Edward or Alice. “Why’re you so distracted?” Jacob wondered. “It’s nothing,” I lied, trying to concentrate. “Thanks for the present, really. I love it.” “Bella?” His brows pulled together, throwing his eyes deep into their shadow. “Something’s going on, isn’t it?” “Jake, I . . . no, there’s nothing.” “Don’t lie to me, you suck at lying. You should tell me what’s going on. We want to know these things,” he said, slipping into the plural at the end. He was probably right; the wolves would certainly be interested in what was happening. Only I wasn’t sure what thatwas yet. I wouldn’t know for sure until I found Alice. “Jacob, I will tell you. Just letme figure out what’s happening, okay? I need to talk to Alice.” Understanding lit his expression. “The psychic saw something.” “Yes, just when you showed up.” “Is this about the bloodsucker in your room?” he murmured, pitching his voice below the thrum of the music. “It’s related,” I admitted. He processed that for a minute, leaning his head to one side while he read my face. “You know something you’re not telling me . . . somethingbig .” What was the point in lying again? He knew me too well. “Yes.” Jacob stared at me for one short moment, and then turned to catch his pack brothers’ eyes where they stood in the entry, awkward and uncomfortable. When they took in his expression, they started moving, weaving their way agilely through the partiers, almost like they were dancing, too. In half a minute, they stood on either side of Jacob, towering over me. “Now. Explain,” Jacob demanded. Embry and Quil looked back and forth between our faces, confused and wary. “Jacob, I don’t know everything.” I kept searching the room, now for a rescue. They had me backed into a corner in every sense. “What youdo know, then.” They all folded their arms across their chests at exactly the same moment. It was a little bit funny, but mostly menacing. And then I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light. “Alice!” I squeaked in relief. She looked right at me as soon as I called her name, despite the thudding bass that should have drowned my voice. I waved eagerly, and watched her face as she took in the three werewolves leaning over me. Her eyes narrowed. But, before that reaction, her face was full of stress and fear. I bit my lip as she skipped to my side. Jacob, Quil, and Embry all leaned away from her with uneasy expressions. She put her arm around my waist. “I need to talk to you,” she murmured into my ear. “Er, Jake, I’ll see you later . . . ,” I mumbled as we eased around them. Jacob threw his long arm out to block our way, bracing his hand against the wall. “Hey, not so fast.” Alice stared up at him, eyes wide and incredulous. “Excuse me?” “Tell us what’s going on,” he demanded in a growl. Jasper appeared quite literally out of nowhere. One second it was just Alice and me against the wall, Jacob blocking our exit, and then Jasper was standing on the other side of Jake’s arm, his expression terrifying. Jacob slowly pulled his arm back. It seemed like the best move, going with the assumption that he wanted to keep that arm. “We have a right to know,” Jacob muttered, still glaring at Alice. Jasper stepped in between them, and the three werewolves braced themselves. “Hey, hey,” I said, adding a slightly hysterical chuckle. “This is a party, remember?” Nobody paid any attention to me. Jacob glared at Alice while Jasper glowered at Jacob. Alice’s face was suddenly thoughtful. “It’s okay, Jasper. He actually has a point.” Jasper did not relax his position. I was sure the suspense was going to make my head explode in about one second. “What did you see, Alice?” She stared at Jacob for one second, and then turned to me, evidently having chosen to let them hear. “The decision’s been made.” “You’re going to Seattle?” “No.” I felt the color drain out of my face. My stomach lurched. “They’re coming here,” I choked out. The Quileute boys watched silently, reading every unconscious play of emotion on our faces. They were rooted in place, and yet not completely still. All three pairs of hands were trembling. “Yes.” “To Forks,” I whispered. “Yes.” “For?” She nodded, understanding my question. “One carried your red shirt.” I tried to swallow. Jasper’s expression was disapproving. I could tell he didn’t like discussing this in front of the werewolves, but he had something he needed to say. “We can’t let them come that far. There aren’t enough of us to protect the town.” “I know,” Alice said, her face suddenly desolate. “But it doesn’t matter where we stop them. There still won’t be enough of us, and some of them will come here to search.” “No!” I whispered. The noise of the party overwhelmed the sound of my denial. All around us, my friends and neighbors and petty enemies ate and laughed and swayed to the music, oblivious to the fact that they were about to face horror, danger, maybe death. Because of me. “Alice,” I mouthed her name. “I have to go, I have to get away from here.” “That won’t help. It’s not like we’re dealing with a tracker. They’ll still come looking here first.” “Then I have to go to meet them!” If my voice hadn’t been so hoarse and strained, it might have been a shriek. “If they find what they’re looking for, maybe they’ll go away and not hurt anyone else!” “Bella!” Alice protested. “Hold it,” Jacob ordered in a low, forceful voice. “Whatis coming?” Alice turned her icy gaze on him. “Our kind. Lots of them.” “Why?” “For Bella. That’s all we know.” “There are too many for you?” he asked. Jasper bridled. “We have a few advantages, dog. It will be an even fight.” “No,” Jacob said, and a strange, fierce half-smile spread across his face. “It won’t beeven .” “Excellent!” Alice hissed. I stared, still frozen in horror, at Alice’s new expression. Her face was alive with exultation, all the despair wiped clean from her perfect features. She grinned at Jacob, and he grinned back. “Everything just disappeared, of course,” she told him in a smug voice. “That’s inconvenient, but, all things considered, I’ll take it.” “We’ll have to coordinate,” Jacob said. “It won’t be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours.” “I wouldn’t go that far, but we need the help. We aren’t going to be picky.” “Wait, wait, wait, wait,” I interrupted them. Alice was on her toes, Jacob leaning down toward her, both of their faces lit up with excitement, both of their noses wrinkled against the smell. They looked at me impatiently. “Coordinate?” I repeated through my teeth. “You didn’t honestly think you were going to keep us out of this?” Jacob asked. “Youare staying out of this!” “Your psychic doesn’t think so.” “Alice — tell them no!” I insisted. “They’ll get killed!” Jacob, Quil, and Embry all laughed out loud. “Bella,” Alice said, her voice soothing, placating, “separately we all could get killed. Together —” “It’ll be no problem,” Jacob finished her sentence. Quil laughed again. “How many?” Quil asked eagerly. “No!” I shouted. Alice didn’t even look at me. “It changes — twenty-one today, but the numbers are going down.” “Why?” Jacob asked, curious. “Long story,” Alice said, suddenly looking around the room. “And this isn’t the place for it.” “Later tonight?” Jacob pushed. “Yes,” Jasper answered him. “We were already planning a . . . strategic meeting. If you’re going to fight with us, you’ll need some instruction.” The wolves all made a disgruntled face at the last part. “No!” I moaned. “This will be odd,” Jasper said thoughtfully. “I never considered working together. This has to be a first.” “No doubt about that,” Jacob agreed. He was in a hurry now. “We’ve got to get back to Sam. What time?” “What’s too late for you?” All three rolled their eyes. “What time?” Jacob repeated. “Three o’clock?” “Where?” “About ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. Come at it from the west and you’ll be able to follow our scent in.” “We’ll be there.” They turned to leave. “Wait, Jake!” I called after him. “Please!Don’t do this!” He paused, turning back to grin at me, while Quil and Embry headed impatiently for the door. “Don’t be ridiculous, Bells. You’re giving me a much better gift than the one I gave you.” “No!” I shouted again. The sound of an electric guitar drowned my cry. He didn’t respond; he hurried to catch up with his friends, who were already gone. I watched helplessly as Jacob disappeared. 18. INSTRUCTION “THAT HAD TO BE THE LONGEST PARTY IN THE HISTORYof the world,” I complained on the way home. Edward didn’t seem to disagree. “It’s over now,” he said, rubbing my arm soothingly. Because I was the only one who needed soothing. Edward was fine now — all the Cullens were fine. They’d all reassured me; Alice reaching up to pat my head as I left, eyeing Jasper meaningfully until a flood of peace swirled around me, Esme kissing my forehead and promising me everything was all right, Emmett laughing boisterously and asking why I was the only one who was allowed to fight with werewolves. . . . Jacob’s solution had them all relaxed, almost euphoric after the long weeks of stress. Doubt had been replaced with confidence. The party had ended on a note of true celebration. Not for me. Bad enough — horrible — that the Cullens would fight for me. It was already too much that I would have to allow that. It already felt like more than I could bear. Not Jacob, too. Not his foolish, eager brothers — most of them even younger than I was. They were just oversized, over-muscled children, and they looked forward to this like it was picnic on the beach. I could not have them in danger, too. My nerves felt frayed and exposed. I didn’t know how much longer I could restrain the urge to scream out loud. I whispered now, to keep my voice under control. “You’re taking me with you tonight.” “Bella, you’re worn out.” “You think I could sleep?” He frowned. “This is an experiment. I’m not sure if it will be possible for us all to . . . cooperate. I don’t want you in the middle of that.” As if that didn’t make me all the more anxious to go. “If you won’t take me, then I’ll call Jacob.” His eyes tightened. That was a low blow, and I knew it. But there was no way I was being left behind. He didn’t answer; we were at Charlie’s house now. The front light was on. “See you upstairs,” I muttered. I tiptoed in the front door. Charlie was asleep in the living room, overflowing the too-small sofa, and snoring so loudly I could have ripped a chainsaw to life and it wouldn’t have wakened him. I shook his shoulder vigorously. “Dad! Charlie!” He grumbled, eyes still closed. “I’m home now — you’re going to hurt your back sleeping like that. C’mon, time to move.” It took a few more shakes, and his eyes never did open all the way, but I managed to get him off the couch. I helped him up to his bed, where he collapsed on top of the covers, fully dressed, and started snoring again. He wasn’t going to be looking for me anytime soon. Edward waited in my room while I washed my face and changed into jeans and a flannel shirt. He watched me unhappily from the rocking chair as I hung the outfit Alice had given me in my closet. “Come here,” I said, taking his hand and pulling him to my bed. I pushed him down on the bed and then curled up against his chest. Maybe he was right and Iwas tired enough to sleep. I wasn’t going to let him sneak off without me. He tucked my quilt in around me, and then held me close. “Please relax.” “Sure.” “This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it.” My teeth locked together. He was still radiating relief. Nobody but me cared if Jacob and his friends got hurt. Not even Jacob and his friends. Especially not them. He could tell I was about to lose it. “Listen to me, Bella. This is going to beeasy . The newborns will be completely taken by surprise. They’ll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did. I’ve seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves’ hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won’t be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out,” he teased. “Piece of cake,” I mumbled tonelessly against his chest. “Shhh,” he stroked my cheek. “You’ll see. Don’t worry now.” He started humming my lullaby, but, for once, it didn’t calm me. People — well, vampires and werewolves really, but still — people I loved were going to get hurt. Hurt because of me. Again. I wished my bad luck would focus a little more carefully. I felt like yelling up at the empty sky:It’s me you want — over here! Just me! I tried to think of a way that I could do exactly that — force my bad luck to focus on me. It wouldn’t be easy. I would have to wait, bide my time. . . . I did not fall asleep. The minutes passed quickly, to my surprise, and I was still alert and tense when Edward pulled us both up into a sitting position. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay and sleep?” I gave him a sour look. He sighed, and scooped me up in his arms before he jumped from my window. He raced through the black, quiet forest with me on his back, and even in his run I could feel the elation. He ran the way he did when it was just us, just for enjoyment, just for the feel of the wind in his hair. It was the kind of thing that, during less anxious times, would have made me happy. When we got to the big open field, his family was there, talking casually, relaxed. Emmett’s booming laugh echoed through the wide space now and then. Edward set me down and we walked hand in hand toward them. It took me a minute, because it was so dark with the moon hidden behind the clouds, but I realized that we were in the baseball clearing. It was the same place where, more than a year ago, that first lighthearted evening with the Cullens had been interrupted by James and his coven. It felt strange to be here again — as if this gathering wouldn’t be complete until James and Laurent and Victoria joined us. But James and Laurent were never coming back. That pattern wouldn’t be repeated. Maybe all the patterns were broken. Yes, someone had broken out of their pattern. Was it possible that the Volturi were the flexible ones in this equation? I doubted it. Victoria had always seemed like a force of nature to me — like a hurricane moving toward the coast in a straight line — unavoidable, implacable, but predictable. Maybe it was wrong to limit her that way. She had to be capable of adaptation. “You know what I think?” I asked Edward. He laughed. “No.” I almost smiled. “What do you think?” “I think it’sall connected. Not just the two, but all three.” “You’ve lost me.” “Three bad things have happened since you came back.” I ticked them off on my fingers. “The newborns in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And — first of all — Victoria came to look for me.” His eyes narrowed as he thought about it. “Why do you think so?” “Because I agree with Jasper — the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job anyway.” And I’d be dead if they wanted me dead, I added mentally. “Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?” “Yes.” He frowned. “I wasn’t very good at it.” “Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?” His eyebrows pulled together. “Yes. Hmm . . .” “See — she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn’t know what she’s doing, so the newborns are all out of control.” He started shaking his head. “Only Aro knows exactly how Alice’s visions work.” “Aro would knowbest, but wouldn’t Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali knowenough ? Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn’t he also tell her everything he knew?” Edward frowned. “It wasn’t Victoria in your room.” “She can’t make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If itis Victoria doing this in Seattle, she’smade a lot of new friends. She’s created them.” He considered it, his forehead creased in concentration. “Hmm,” he finally said. “It’s possible. I still think the Volturi are most likely . . . But your theory — there’s something there. Victoria’s personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly. She’s shown a remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start — maybe it’s a talent of hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either. Perhaps she’s counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness against her. In fact,” he continued, thinking it through, “if there were survivors, I’d bet she’d be planning to destroy them herself. . . . Hmm. Still, she’d have to have at least one friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive. . . .” He frowned into space for a long moment, and then suddenly smiled at me, coming back from his reverie. “Definitely possible. Regardless, we’ve got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure. You’re very perceptive today,” he added. “It’s impressive.” I sighed. “Maybe I’m just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she’s close by . . . like she sees me now.” His jaw muscles tensed at the idea. “She’ll never touch you, Bella,” he said. In spite of his words, his eyes swept carefully across the dark trees. While he searched their shadows, the strangest expression crossed his face. His lips pulled back over his teeth and his eyes shone with an odd light — a wild, fierce kind of hope. “Yet, what I wouldn’t give to have her that close,” he murmured. “Victoria, and anyone else who’s ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time.” I shuddered at the ferocious longing in his voice, and clenched his fingers more tightly with mine, wishing I was strong enough to lock our hands together permanently. We were almost to his family, and I noticed for the first time that Alice did not look as optimistic as the others. She stood a little aside, watching Jasper stretching his arms as if he were warming up to exercise, her lips pushed out in a pout. “Is something wrong with Alice?” I whispered. Edward chuckled, himself again. “The werewolves are on their way, so she can’t see anything that will happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind.” Alice, though the farthest from us, heard his low voice. She looked up and stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed again. “Hey, Edward,” Emmett greeted him. “Hey, Bella. Is he going to let you practice, too?” Edward groaned at his brother. “Please, Emmett, don’t give her any ideas.” “When will our guests arrive?” Carlisle asked Edward. Edward concentrated for a moment, and then sighed. “A minute and a half. But I’m going to have to translate. They don’t trust us enough to use their human forms.” Carlisle nodded. “This is hard for them. I’m grateful they’re coming at all.” I stared at Edward, my eyes stretched wide. “They’re coming as wolves?” He nodded, cautious of my reaction. I swallowed once, remembering the two times I’d seen Jacob in his wolf form — the first time in the meadow with Laurent, the second time on the forest lane where Paul had gotten angry at me. . . . They were both memories of terror. A strange gleam came into Edward’s eyes, as though something had just occurred to him, something that was not altogether unpleasant. He turned away quickly, before I could see any more, back to Carlisle and the others. “Prepare yourselves — they’ve been holding out on us.” “What do you mean?” Alice demanded. “Shh,” he cautioned, and stared past her into the darkness. The Cullens’ informal circle suddenly widened out into a loose line with Jasper and Emmett at the spear point. From the way Edward leaned forward next to me, I could tell that he wished he was standing beside them. I tightened my hand around his. I squinted toward the forest, seeing nothing. “Damn,” Emmett muttered under his breath. “Did you ever see anything like it?” Esme and Rosalie exchanged a wide-eyed glance. “What is it?” I whispered as quietly as I could. “I can’t see.” “The pack has grown,” Edward murmured into my ear. Hadn’t I told him that Quil had joined the pack? I strained to see the six wolves in the gloom. Finally, something glittered in the blackness — their eyes, higher up than they should be. I’d forgotten how very tall the wolves were. Like horses, only thick with muscle and fur — and teeth like knives, impossible to overlook. I could only see the eyes. And as I scanned, straining to see more, it occurred to me that there were more than six pairs facing us.One, two, three . . . I counted the pairs swiftly in my head. Twice. There were ten of them. “Fascinating,” Edward murmured almost silently. Carlisle took a slow, deliberate step forward. It was a careful movement, designed to reassure. “Welcome,” he greeted the invisible wolves. “Thank you,” Edward responded in a strange, flat tone, and I realized at once that the words came from Sam. I looked to the eyes shining in the center of the line, the highest up, the tallest of them all. It was impossible to separate the shape of the big black wolf from the darkness. Edward spoke again in the same detached voice, speaking Sam’s words. “We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control.” “That is more than enough,” Carlisle answered. “My son Jasper” — he gestured to where Jasper stood, tensed and ready — “has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style.” “They are different from you?” Edward asked for Sam. Carlisle nodded. “They are all very new — only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you — it shouldn’t be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves.” A rumble passed down the shadowy line of wolves, a low growling mutter that somehow managed to sound enthusiastic. “We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary,” Edward translated, his tone less indifferent now. Carlisle smiled. “We’ll see how it plays out.” “Do you know when and how they’ll arrive?” “They’ll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path.” “Thank you for the information. We will watch.” With a sighing sound, the eyes sank closer to the ground one set at a time. It was silent for two heartbeats, and then Jasper took a step into the empty space between the vampires and the wolves. It wasn’t hard for me to see him — his skin was as bright against the darkness as the wolves’ eyes. Jasper threw a wary glance toward Edward, who nodded, and then Jasper turned his back to the werewolves. He sighed, clearly uncomfortable. “Carlisle’s right.” Jasper spoke only to us; he seemed to be trying to ignore the audience behind him. “They’ll fight like children. The two most important things you’ll need to remember are, first, don’t let them get their arms around you and, second, don’t go for the obvious kill. That’s all they’ll be prepared for. As long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they’ll be too confused to respond effectively. Emmett?” Emmett stepped out of the line with a huge smile. Jasper backed toward the north end of the opening between the allied enemies. He waved Emmett forward. “Okay, Emmett first. He’s the best example of a newborn attack.” Emmett’s eyes narrowed. “I’lltry not to break anything,” he muttered. Jasper grinned. “What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He’s very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won’t be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett.” Jasper backed up a few more paces, his body tensing. “Okay, Emmett — try to catch me.” And I couldn’t see Jasper anymore — he was a blur as Emmett charged him like a bear, grinning while he snarled. Emmett was impossibly quick, too, but not like Jasper. It looked like Jasper had no more substance than a ghost — any time it seemed Emmett’s big hands had him for sure, Emmett’s fingers clenched around nothing but the air. Beside me, Edward leaned forward intently, his eyes locked on the brawl. Then Emmett froze. Jasper had him from behind, his teeth an inch from his throat. Emmett cussed. There was a muttered rumble of appreciation from the watching wolves. “Again,” Emmett insisted, his smile gone. “It’s my turn,” Edward protested. My fingers tensed around his. “In a minute.” Jasper grinned, stepping back. “I want to show Bella something first.” I watched with anxious eyes as he waved Alice forward. “I know you worry about her,” he explained to me as she danced blithely into the ring. “I want to show you why that’s not necessary.” Though I knew that Jasper would never allow any harm to come to Alice, it was still hard to watch as he sank back into a crouch facing her. Alice stood motionlessly, looking tiny as a doll after Emmett, smiling to herself. Jasper shifted forward, then slinked to her left. Alice closed her eyes. My heart thumped unevenly as Jasper stalked toward where Alice stood. Jasper sprang, disappearing. Suddenly he was on the other side of Alice. She didn’t appear to have moved. Jasper wheeled and launched himself at her again, only to land in a crouch behind her like the first time; all the while Alice stood smiling with her eyes closed. I watched Alice more carefully now. Shewas moving — I’d just been missing it, distracted by Jasper’s attacks. She took a small step forward at the exact second that Jasper’s body flew through the spot where she’d just been standing. She took another step, while Jasper’s grasping hands whistled past where her waist had been. Jasper closed in, and Alice began to move faster. She was dancing — spiraling and twisting and curling in on herself. Jasper was her partner, lunging, reaching through her graceful patterns, never touching her, like every movement was choreographed. Finally, Alice laughed. Out of nowhere she was perched on Jasper’s back, her lips at his neck. “Gotcha,” she said, and kissed his throat. Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. “You truly are one frightening little monster.” The wolves muttered again. This time the sound was wary. “It’s good for them to learn some respect,” Edward murmured, amused. Then he spoke louder. “My turn.” He squeezed my hand before he let it go. Alice came to take his place beside me. “Cool, huh?” she asked me smugly. “Very,” I agreed, not looking away from Edward as he glided noiselessly toward Jasper, his movements lithe and watchful as a jungle cat. “I’ve got my eye on you, Bella,” she whispered suddenly, her voice pitched so low that I could barely hear, though her lips were at my ear. My gaze flickered to her face and then back to Edward. He was intent on Jasper, both of them feinting as he closed the distance. Alice’s expression was full of reproach. “I’ll warn him if your plans get any more defined,” she threatened in the same low murmur. “It doesn’t help anything for you to put yourself in danger. Do you think either of them would give up if you died? They’d still fight, we all would. You can’t change anything, so just be good, okay?” I grimaced, trying to ignore her. “I’m watching,” she repeated. Edward had closed on Jasper now, and this fight was more even than either of the others. Jasper had the century of experience to guide him, and he tried to go on instinct alone as much as he could, but his thoughts always gave him away a fraction of a second before he acted. Edward was slightly faster, but the moves Jasper used were unfamiliar to him. They came at each other again and again, neither one able to gain the advantage, instinctive snarls erupting constantly. It was hard to watch, but harder to look away. They moved too fast for me to really understand what they were doing. Now and then the sharp eyes of the wolves would catch my attention. I had a feeling the wolves were getting more out of this than I was — maybe more than they should. Eventually, Carlisle cleared his throat. Jasper laughed, and took a step back. Edward straightened up and grinned at him. “Back to work,” Jasper consented. “We’ll call it a draw.” Everyone took turns, Carlisle, then Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett again. I squinted through my lashes, cringing as Jasper attacked Esme. That one was the hardest to watch. Then he slowed down, still not quite enough for me to understand his motions, and gave more instruction. “You see what I’m doing here?” he would ask. “Yes, just like that,” he encouraged. “Concentrate on the sides. Don’t forget where their target will be. Keep moving.” Edward was always focused, watching and also listening to what others couldn’t see. It got more difficult to follow as my eyes got heavier. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, anyway, and it was approaching a solid twenty-four hours since the last time I’d slept. I leaned against Edward’s side, and let my eyelids droop. “We’re about finished,” he whispered. Jasper confirmed that, turning toward the wolves for the first time, his expression uncomfortable again. “We’ll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again.” “Yes,” Edward answered in Sam’s cool voice. “We’ll be here.” Then Edward sighed, patted my arm, and stepped away from me. He turned to his family. “The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents — so they don’t make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them.” “Certainly,” Carlisle said to Sam. “Whatever you need.” There was a gloomy, throaty grumble from the wolf pack as they all rose to their feet. My eyes were wide again, exhaustion forgotten. The deep black of the night was just beginning to fade — the sun brightening the clouds, though it hadn’t cleared the horizon yet, far away on the other side of the mountains. As they approached, it was suddenly possible to make out shapes . . . colors. Sam was in the lead, of course. Unbelievably huge, black as midnight, a monster straight out of my nightmares — literally; after the first time I’d seen Sam and the others in the meadow, they’d starred in my bad dreams more than once. Now that I could see them all, match the vastness with each pair of eyes, it looked like more than ten. The pack was overwhelming. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Edward was watching me, carefully evaluating my reaction. Sam approached Carlisle where he stood in the front, the huge pack right on his tail. Jasper stiffened, but Emmett, on the other side of Carlisle, was grinning and relaxed. Sam sniffed at Carlisle, seeming to wince slightly as he did. Then he moved on to Jasper. My eyes ran down the wary brace of wolves. I was sure I could pick out a few of the new additions. There was a light gray wolf that was much smaller than the others, the hackles on the back of his neck raised in distaste. There was another, the color of desert sand, who seemed gangly and uncoordinated beside the rest. A low whine broke through the sandy wolf’s control when Sam’s advance left him isolated between Carlisle and Jasper. I stopped at the wolf just behind Sam. His fur was reddish-brown and longer than the others, shaggy in comparison. He was almost as tall as Sam, the second largest in the group. His stance was casual, somehow exuding nonchalance over what the rest obviously considered an ordeal. The enormous russet-colored wolf seemed to feel my gaze, and he looked up at me with familiar black eyes. I stared back at him, trying to believe what I already knew. I could feel the wonder and fascination on my face. The wolf’s muzzle fell open, pulling back over his teeth. It would have been a frightening expression, except that his tongue lolled out the side in a wolfy grin. I giggled. Jacob’s grin widened over his sharp teeth. He left his place in line, ignoring the eyes of his pack as they followed him. He trotted past Edward and Alice to stand not two feet away from me. He stopped there, his gaze flickering briefly toward Edward. Edward stood motionless, a statue, his eyes still assessing my reaction. Jacob crouched down on his front legs and dropped his head so that his face was no higher than mine, staring at me, measuring my response just as much as Edward was. “Jacob?” I breathed. The answering rumble deep in his chest sounded like a chuckle. I reached my hand out, my fingers trembling slightly, and touched the red-brown fur on the side of his face. The black eyes closed, and Jacob leaned his huge head into my hand. A thrumming hum resonated in this throat. The fur was both soft and rough, and warm against my skin. I ran my fingers through it curiously, learning the texture, stroking his neck where the color deepened. I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten; without warning, Jacob suddenly licked my face from chin to hairline. “Ew! Gross, Jake!” I complained, jumping back and smacking at him, just as I would have if he were human. He dodged out of the way, and the coughing bark that came through his teeth was obviously laughter. I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt, unable to keep from laughing with him. It was at that point that I realized that everyone was watching us, the Cullens and the werewolves — the Cullens with perplexed and somewhat disgusted expressions. It was hard to read the wolves’ faces. I thought Sam looked unhappy. And then there was Edward, on edge and clearly disappointed. I realized he’d been hoping for a different reaction from me. Like screaming and running away in terror. Jacob made the laughing sound again. The other wolves were backing away now, not taking their eyes off the Cullens as they departed. Jacob stood by my side, watching them go. Soon, they disappeared into the murky forest. Only two hesitated by the trees, watching Jacob, their postures radiating anxiety. Edward sighed, and — ignoring Jacob — came to stand on my other side, taking my hand. “Ready to go?” he asked me. Before I could answer, he was staring over me at Jacob. “I’ve not quite figured out all the details yet,” he said, answering a question in Jacob’s thoughts. The Jacob-wolf grumbled sullenly. “It’s more complicated than that,” Edward said. “Don’t concern yourself; I’ll make sure it’s safe.” “What are you talking about?” I demanded. “Just discussing strategy,” Edward said. Jacob’s head swiveled back and forth, looking at our faces. Then, suddenly, he bolted for the forest. As he darted away, I noticed for the first time a square of folded black fabric secured to his back leg. “Wait,” I called, one hand stretching out automatically to reach after him. But he disappeared into the trees in seconds, the other two wolves following. “Why did he leave?” I asked, hurt. “He’s coming back,” Edward said. He sighed. “He wants to be able to talk for himself.” I watched the edge of the forest where Jacob had vanished, leaning into Edward’s side again. I was on the point of collapse, but I was fighting it. Jacob loped back into view, on two legs this time. His broad chest was bare, his hair tangled and shaggy. He wore only a pair of black sweat pants, his feet bare to the cold ground. He was alone now, but I suspected that his friends lingered in the trees, invisible. It didn’t take him long to cross the field, though he gave a wide berth to the Cullens, who stood talking quietly in a loose circle. “Okay, bloodsucker,” Jacob said when he was a few feet from us, evidently continuing the conversation I’d missed. “What’s so complicated about it?” “I have to consider every possibility,” Edward said, unruffled. “What if someone gets by you?” Jacob snorted at that idea. “Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We’re making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She’ll be safe there.” I scowled. “Are you talking about me?” “I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight,” Jacob explained. “Dowith me?” “You can’t stay in Forks, Bella.” Edward’s voice was pacifying. “They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?” My stomach dropped and the blood drained from my face. “Charlie?” I gasped. “He’ll be with Billy,” Jacob assured me quickly. “If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he’ll do it. Probably it won’t take that much. It’s this Saturday, right? There’s a game.” “This Saturday?” I asked, my head spinning. I was too lightheaded to control my wildly random thoughts. I frowned at Edward. “Well, crap! There goes your graduation present.” Edward laughed. “It’s the thought that counts,” he reminded me. “You can give the tickets to someone else.” Inspiration came swiftly. “Angela and Ben,” I decided at once. “At least that will get them out of town.” He touched my cheek. “You can’t evacuate everyone,” he said in a gentle voice. “Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you — we’ll have no problem now. There won’t be enough of them to keep us entertained.” “But what about keeping her in La Push?” Jacob interjected, impatient. “She’s been back and forth too much,” Edward said. “She’s left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he” — Edward paused to look at me — “or she is, thiscould all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can’t leave her somewhere she’s been frequently. Shehas to be hard to find, just in case. It’s a very long shot, but I’m not taking chances.” I stared at Edward as he explained, my forehead creasing. He patted my arm. “Just being overcautious,” he promised. Jacob gestured to the deep forest east of us, to the vast expanse of the Olympic Mountains. “So hide her here,” he suggested. “There’s a million possibilities — places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there’s a need.” Edward shook his head. “Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I carried her, it would leave a trail.Our trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella’s scent, it would catch their attention. We’re not sure exactly which path they’ll take, becausethey don’t know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us . . .” Both of them grimaced at the same time, their eyebrows pulling together. “You see the difficulties.” “There has to be a way to make it work,” Jacob muttered. He glared toward the forest, pursing his lips. I swayed on my feet. Edward put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and supporting my weight. “I need to get you home — you’re exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon. . . .” “Wait a sec,” Jacob said, wheeling back to us, his eyes bright. “My scent disgusts you, right?” “Hmm, not bad.” Edward was two steps ahead. “It’s possible.” He turned toward his family. “Jasper?” he called. Jasper looked up curiously. He walked over with Alice a half step behind. Her face was frustrated again. “Okay, Jacob.” Edward nodded at him. Jacob turned toward me with a strange mixture of emotion on his face. He was clearly excited by whatever this new plan of his was, but he was also still uneasy so close to his enemy allies. And then it was my turn to be wary as he held his arms out toward me. Edward took a deep breath. “We’re going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail,” Jacob explained. I stared at his open arms suspiciously. “You’re going to have to let him carry you, Bella,” Edward told me. His voice was calm, but I could hear the subdued distaste. I frowned. Jacob rolled his eyes, impatient, and reached down to yank me up into his arms. “Don’t be such a baby,” he muttered. But his eyes flickered to Edward, just like mine did. Edward’s face was composed and smooth. He spoke to Jasper. “Bella’s scent is so much more potent to me — I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried.” Jacob turned away from them and paced swiftly into the woods. I didn’t say anything as the dark closed around us. I was pouting, uncomfortable in Jacob’s arms. It felt too intimate to me — surely he didn’t need to hold mequite so tightly — and I couldn’t help but wonder what it felt like to him. It reminded me of my last afternoon in La Push, and I didn’t want to think about that. I folded my arms, annoyed when the brace on my hand intensified the memory. We didn’t go far; he made a wide arc and came back into the clearing from a different direction, maybe half a football field away from our original departure point. Edward was there alone and Jacob headed toward him. “You can put me down now.” “I don’t want to take a chance of messing up the experiment.” His walk slowed and his arms tightened. “You areso annoying,” I muttered. “Thanks.” Out of nowhere, Jasper and Alice stood beside Edward. Jacob took one more step, and then set me down a half dozen feet from Edward. Without looking back at Jacob, I walked to Edward’s side and took his hand. “Well?” I asked. “As long as you don’t touch anything, Bella, I can’timagine someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent,” Jasper said, grimacing. “It was almost completely obscured.” “A definite success,” Alice agreed, wrinkling her nose. “And it gave me an idea.” “Which will work,” Alice added confidently. “Clever,” Edward agreed. “How do youstand that?” Jacob muttered to me. Edward ignored Jacob and looked at me while he explained. “We’re — well,you’re — going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they’ll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catchour scent, they’ll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears. . . .” “Yes!” Jacob hissed. Edward smiled at him, a smile of true comradeship. I felt sick. How could they be so eager for this? How could I stand havingboth of them in danger? I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. “Not a chance,” Edward said suddenly, his voice disgusted. It made me jump, worrying that he’d somehow heard my resolve, but his eyes were on Jasper. “I know, I know,” Jasper said quickly. “I didn’t even consider it, not really.” Alice stepped on his foot. “If Bella was actually there in the clearing,” Jasper explained to her, “it would drive them insane. They wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy. . . .” Edward’s glare had Jasper backtracking. “Of course it’s too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought,” he said quickly. But he looked at me from the corner of his eyes, and the look was wistful. “No,” Edward said. His voice rang with finality. “You’re right,” Jasper said. He took Alice’s hand and started back to the others. “Best two out of three?” I heard him ask her as they went to practice again. Jacob stared after him in disgust. “Jasper looks at things from a military perspective,” Edward quietly defended his brother. “He looks at all the options — it’s thoroughness, not callousness.” Jacob snorted. He’d edged closer unconsciously, drawn by his absorption in the planning. He stood only three feet from Edward now, and, standing there between them, I could feel the physical tension in the air. It was like static, an uncomfortable charge. Edward got back to business. “I’ll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I’ll take another route there.” “And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?” Jacob asked critically. “You have a better idea?” Jacob was suddenly smug. “Actually, I do.” “Oh. . . . Again, dog, not bad at all.” Jacob turned to me quickly, as if determined to play the good guy by keeping me in the conversation. “We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He’s still too young, but he’s stubborn and he’s resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him — cell phone.” I tried to look like I got it. No one was fooled. “As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he’ll be connected to the pack,” Edward said. “Distance isn’t a problem?” he added, turning to Jacob. “Nope.” “Three hundred miles?” Edward asked. “That’s impressive.” Jacob was the good guy again. “That’s the farthest we’ve ever gone to experiment,” he told me. “Still clear as a bell.” I nodded absently; I was reeling from the idea that little Seth Clearwater was already a werewolf, too, and that made it difficult to concentrate. I could see his bright smile, so much like a younger Jacob, in my head; he couldn’t be more than fifteen, if he was that. His enthusiasm at the council meeting bonfire suddenly took on new meaning. . . . “It’s a good idea.” Edward seemed reluctant to admit this. “I’ll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don’t know if I’d be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it’s come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!” “Fightingwith vampires instead of against them!” Jacob mirrored Edward’s tone of disgust. “Well, you still get to fight against some of them,” Edward said. Jacob smiled. “That’s the reason we’re here.” 19. SELFISH EDWARD CARRIED ME HOME IN HIS ARMS, EXPECTINGthat I wouldn’t be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way. When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a strange angle. Almost like it was afternoon. I yawned and stretched, my fingers searching for him and coming up empty. “Edward?” I mumbled. My seeking fingers encountered something cool and smooth. His hand. “Are you really awake this time?” he murmured. “Mmm,” I sighed in assent. “Have there been a lot of false alarms?” “You’ve been very restless — talking all day.” “Allday ?” I blinked and looked at the windows again. “You had a long night,” he said reassuringly. “You’d earned a day in bed.” I sat up, and my head spun. The lightwas coming in my window from the west. “Wow.” “Hungry?” he guessed. “Do you want breakfast in bed?” “I’ll get it,” I groaned, stretching again. “I need to get up and move around.” He held my hand on the way to the kitchen, eyeing me carefully, like I might fall over. Or maybe he thought I was sleepwalking. I kept it simple, throwing a couple of Pop-Tarts in the toaster. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective chrome. “Ugh, I’m a mess.” “It was a long night,” he said again. “You should have stayed here and slept.” “Right! And missedeverything . You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I’m part of the family now.” He smiled. “I could probably get used to that idea.” I sat down with my breakfast, and he sat next to me. When I lifted the Pop-Tart to take the first bite, I noticed him staring at my hand. I looked down, and saw that I was still wearing the gift that Jacob had given me at the party. “May I?” he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf. I swallowed noisily. “Um, sure.” He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For a fleeting moment, I was afraid. Just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters. But of course Edward wouldn’t do that. I was embarrassed I’d even had the thought. He only weighed the wolf in his palm for a moment, and then let it fall. It swung lightly from my wrist. I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else hidden, if therewas anything else. “Jacob Black can give you presents.” It wasn’t a question, or an accusation. Just a statement of fact. But I knew he was referring to my last birthday and the fit I’d thrown over gifts; I hadn’t wanted any. Especially not from Edward. It wasn’t entirely logical, and, of course, everyone had ignored me anyway. . . . “You’ve given me presents,” I reminded him. “You know I like the homemade kind.” He pursed his lips for a second. “How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?” “What do you mean?” “This bracelet.” His finger traced a circle around my wrist. “You’ll be wearing this a lot?” I shrugged. “Because you wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings,” he suggested shrewdly. “Sure, I guess so.” “Don’t you think it’s fair, then,” he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up, and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. “If I have a little representation?” “Representation?” “A charm — something to keepme on your mind.” “You’re in every thought I have. I don’t need reminders.” “If I gave you something, would you wear it?” he pressed. “A hand-me-down?” I checked. “Yes, something I’ve had for a while.” He smiled his angel’s smile. If this was the only reaction to Jacob’s gift, I would take it gladly. “Whatever makes you happy.” “Have you noticed the inequality?” he asked, and his voice turned accusing. “Because I certainly have.” “What inequality?” His eyes narrowed. “Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn’t. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?” “Easy.” I shrugged. “You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given meyou . That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.” He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. “The way you regard me is ludicrous.” I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn’t listen if I told him that he had that backward. Edward’s phone buzzed. He looked at the number before he opened it. “What is it, Alice?” He listened, and I waited for his reaction, suddenly nervous. But whatever she said didn’t surprise him. He sighed a few times. “I sort of guessed as much,” he told her, staring into my eyes, a disapproving arch to his brow. “She was talking in her sleep.” I flushed. What had I said now? “I’ll take care of it,” he promised. He glared at me as he shut his phone. “Is there something you’d like to talk to me about?” I deliberated for a moment. Given Alice’s warning last night, I could guess why she’d called. And then remembering the troubled dreams I’d had as I’d slept through the day — dreams where I chased after Jasper, trying to follow him and find the clearing in the maze-like woods, knowing I would find Edward there . . . Edward, and the monsters who wanted to kill me, but not caring about them because I’d already made my decision — I could also guess what Edward had overheard while I’d slept. I pursed my lips for a moment, not quite able to meet his gaze. He waited. “I like Jasper’s idea,” I finally said. He groaned. “I want to help. I have to dosomething, ” I insisted. “It wouldn’t help to have you in danger.” “Jasper thinks it would. This ishis area of expertise.” Edward glowered at me. “You can’t keep me away,” I threatened. “I’m not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me.” Suddenly, he was fighting a smile. “Alice doesn’t see youin the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won’t be able to find us; you’ll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward.” I tried to keep as cool as he was. “That’s because Alice didn’t factor in Seth Clearwater,” I said politely. “If she had, of course, she wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn’t be too hard to persuade him to show me the way.” Anger flickered across his face, and then he took a deep breath and composed himself. “That might have worked . . . if you hadn’t told me. Now I’ll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won’t be able to ignore that kind of injunction.” I kept my smile pleasant. “But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I’ll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you.” He had to compose himself again. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders.” I frowned. “Jacob?” “Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too.” He had me, and by his smile, he knew it. My forehead crumpled. Jacob would be on his side — in this one instance — I was sure. And Jacob neverhad told me that. Edward took advantage of the fact that I was momentarily stumped, continuing in a suspiciously smooth and soothing voice. “I got a fascinating look into the pack’s mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche . . . Absolutely fascinating.” He was obviously trying to distract me. I glared at him. “Jacob’s been keeping a lot of secrets,” he said with a grin. I didn’t answer, I just kept glaring, holding on to my argument and waiting for an opening. “For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night?” I nodded one stiff nod. He chuckled. “They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for.” I sighed. “Okay, I’ll bite. What are you talking about?” “They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform.” “So someone changed who wasn’t a direct descendant?” “No. She’s a direct descendant, all right.” I blinked, and my eyes widened.“She?” He nodded. “She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater.” “Leah’s a werewolf!” I shrieked. “What? For how long? Why didn’t Jacob tell me?” “There are things he wasn’t allowed to share — their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn’t able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that’s all out the window.” “I can’t believe it. Leah Clearwater!” Suddenly, I remembered Jacob speaking of Leah and Sam, and the way he acted as if he’d said too much — after he’d said something about Sam having to look in Leah’s eyesevery day and know that he’d broken all his promises. . . . Leah on the cliff, a tear glistening on her cheek when Old Quil had spoken of the burden and sacrifice the Quileutesons shared. . . . And Billy, spending time with Sue because she was having trouble with her kids . . . and here the trouble actually was that both of them were werewolves now! I hadn’t given much thought to Leah Clearwater, just to grieve for her loss when Harry had passed away, and then to pity her again when Jacob had told her story, about how the strange imprinting between Sam and her cousin Emily had broken Leah’s heart. And now she was part of Sam’s pack, hearing his thoughts . . . and unable to hide her own. I really hate that part,Jacob had said.Everything you’re ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see. “Poor Leah,” I whispered. Edward snorted. “She’s making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I’m not sure she deserves your sympathy.” “What do you mean?” “It’s hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it’s painful for everyone.” “She has reason enough,” I mumbled, still on her side. “Oh, I know,” he said. “The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I’ve ever witnessed in my life, and I’ve seen some strange things.” He shook his head wonderingly. “The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe — or I should sayher Sam . Sam really had no choice. It reminds me ofA Midsummer Night’s Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies’ love spells . . . like magic.” He smiled. “It’s very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you.” “Poor Leah,” I said again. “But what do you mean, malicious?” “She’s constantly bringing up things they’d rather not think of,” he explained. “For example, Embry.” “What’s with Embry?” I asked, surprised. “His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She’s not Quileute. Everyone assumed she’d left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack.” “So?” “So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course.” “No!” I gasped. Edward was right — this was exactly like a soap opera. “Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They’d all like to think it’s Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob’s never been able to ask Billy about that.” “Wow. How did you get so much in one night?” “The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There’s so much to read!” He sounded faintly regretful, like someone who’d had to put down a good book just before the climax. I laughed. “The pack is fascinating,” I agreed. “Almost as fascinating as you are when you’re trying to distract me.” His expression became polite again — a perfect poker face. “I have to be in that clearing, Edward.” “No,” he said in a very final tone. A certain path occurred to me at that moment. It wasn’t so much that I had to be in the clearing. I just had to be where Edward was. Cruel,I accused myself.Selfish, selfish, selfish! Don’t do it! I ignored my better instincts. I couldn’t look at him while I spoke, though. The guilt had my eyes glued to the table. “Okay, look, Edward,” I whispered. “Here’s the thing . . . I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are.And I can’t stand it if you leave me again. ” I didn’t look up to see his reaction, afraid to know how much pain I was inflicting. I did hear his sudden intake of breath and the silence that followed. I stared at the dark wooden tabletop, wishing I could take the words back. But knowing I probably wouldn’t. Not if it worked. Suddenly, his arms were around me, his hands stroking my face, my arms.He was comfortingme. The guilt went into spiral mode. But the survival instinct was stronger. There was no question that he was fundamental to my survival. “You know it’s not like that, Bella,” he murmured. “I won’t be far, and it will be over quickly.” “I can’t stand it,” I insisted, still staring down. “Not knowing whether or not you’ll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it’s over?” He sighed. “It’s going to be easy, Bella. There’s no reason for your fears.” “None at all?” “None.” “And everybody will be fine?” “Everyone,” he promised. “So there’s no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?” “Of course not. Alice just told me that they’re down to nineteen. We’ll be able to handle it easily.” “That’s right — you said it was so easy that someone could sit out,” I repeated his words from last night. “Did you really mean that?” “Yes.” It felt too simple — he had to see it coming. “So easy thatyou could sit out?” After a long moment of silence, I finally looked up at his expression. The poker face was back. I took a deep breath. “So it’s one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or . . . it’s going to be so easy that they’ll get by without you. Which way is it?” He didn’t speak. I knew what he was thinking of — the same thing I was thinking of. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie. Jasper. And . . . I forced myself to think the last name. And Alice. I wondered if I was a monster. Not the kind that he thought he was, but the real kind. The kind that hurt people. The kind that had no limits when it came to what they wanted. What I wanted was to keep him safe, safe with me. Did I have a limit to what I would do, what I would sacrifice for that? I wasn’t sure. “You ask me to let them fight without my help?” he said in a quiet voice. “Yes.” I was surprised I could keep my voice even, I felt so wretched inside. “Or to let me be there. Either way, so long as we’re together.” He took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. He moved his hands to place them on either side of my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. He looked into my eyes for a long time. I wondered what he was looking for, and what it was that he found. Was the guilt as thick on my face as it was in my stomach — sickening me? His eyes tightened against some emotion I couldn’t read, and he dropped one hand to pull out his phone again. “Alice,” he sighed. “Could you come babysit Bella for a bit?” He raised one eyebrow, daring me to object to the word. “I need to speak with Jasper.” She evidently agreed. He put the phone away and went back to staring at my face. “What are you going to say to Jasper?” I whispered. “I’m going to discuss . . . me sitting out.” It was easy to read in his face how difficult the words were for him. “I’m sorry.” Iwas sorry. I hated to make him do this. Not enough that I could fake a smile and tell him to go on ahead without me. Definitely not that much. “Don’t apologize,” he said, smiling just a little. “Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need . . .” He shrugged. “You are my first priority.” “I didn’t mean it that way — like you have to choose me over your family.” “I know that. Besides, that’s not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one thatI could live with. That’s how compromise is supposed to work.” I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. “Thank you,” I whispered. “Anytime,” he answered, kissing my hair. “Anything.” We didn’t move for a long moment. I kept my face hidden, pressed against his shirt. Two voices struggled inside me. One that wanted to be good and brave, and one that told the good one to keep her mouth shut. “Who’s the third wife?” he asked me suddenly. “Huh?” I said, stalling. I didn’t remember having had that dream again. “You were mumbling something about ‘the third wife’ last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost me there.” “Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night.” I shrugged. “I guess it stuck with me.” Edward leaned away from me and cocked his head to the side, probably confused by the uncomfortable edge to my voice. Before he could ask, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression. “You’re going to miss all the fun,” she grumbled. “Hello, Alice,” he greeted her. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me goodbye. “I’ll be back later tonight,” he promised me. “I’ll go work this out with the others, rearrange things.” “Okay.” “There’s not much to arrange,” Alice said. “I already told them. Emmett is pleased.” Edward sighed. “Of course he is.” He walked out the door, leaving me to face Alice. She glared at me. “I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “Do you think this will make it more dangerous for you?” She snorted. “You worry too much, Bella. You’re going to go prematurely gray.” “Why are you upset, then?” “Edward is such a grouch when he doesn’t get his way. I’m just anticipating living with him for the next few months.” She made a face. “I suppose, if it keeps you sane, it’s worth it. But I wish you could control the pessimism, Bella. It’s so unnecessary.” “Would you let Jasper go without you?” I demanded. Alice grimaced. “That’s different.” “Sure it is.” “Go clean yourself up,” she ordered me. “Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes, and if you look this ragged he’s not going to want to let you out again.” Wow, I’d really lost the whole day. It felt like such a waste. I was glad I wouldn’t always have to squander my time with sleeping. I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home — fully dressed, hair decent, and in the kitchen putting his dinner on the table. Alice sat in Edward’s usual place, and this seemed to make Charlie’s day. “Howdy, Alice! How are you, hon?” “I’m fine, Charlie, thanks.” “I see you finally made it out of bed, sleepyhead,” he said to me as I sat beside him, before turning back to Alice. “Everyone’s talking about that party your parents threw last night. I’ll bet you’ve got one heck of a clean-up job ahead of you.” Alice shrugged. Knowing her, it was already done. “It was worth it,” she said. “It was a great party.” “Where’s Edward?” Charlie asked, a little grudgingly. “Is he helping clean up?” Alice sighed and her face turned tragic. It was probably an act, but it was too perfect for me to be positive. “No. He’s off planning the weekend with Emmett and Carlisle.” “Hiking again?” Alice nodded, her face suddenly forlorn. “Yes. They’reall going, except me. We always go backpacking at the end of the school year, sort of a celebration, but this year I decided I’d rather shop than hike, and not one of them will stay behind with me. I’m abandoned.” Her face puckered, the expression so devastated that Charlie leaned toward her automatically, one hand reaching out, looking for some way to help. I glared at her suspiciously. What was she doing? “Alice, honey, why don’t you come stay with us,” Charlie offered. “I hate to think of you all alone in that big house.” She sighed. Something squashed my foot under the table. “Ow!” I protested. Charlie turned to me. “What?” Alice shot me a frustrated look. I could tell she thought that I was very slow tonight. “Stubbed my toe,” I muttered. “Oh.” He looked back at Alice. “So, how ’bout it?” She stepped on my foot again, not quite so hard this time. “Er, Dad, you know, we don’t really have the best accommodations here. I bet Alice doesn’t want to sleep on my floor. . . .” Charlie pursed his lips. Alice pulled out the devastated expression again. “Maybe Bella should stay up there with you,” he suggested. “Just until your folks get back.” “Oh, would you, Bella?” Alice smiled at me radiantly. “You don’t mind shopping with me, right?” “Sure,” I agreed. “Shopping. Okay.” “When are they leaving?” Charlie asked. Alice made another face. “Tomorrow.” “When do you want me?” I asked. “After dinner, I guess,” she said, and then put one finger to her chin, thoughtful. “You don’t have anything going on Saturday, do you? I want to get out of town to shop, and it will be an all-day thing.” “Not Seattle,” Charlie interjected, his eyebrows pulling together. “Of course not,” Alice agreed at once, though we both knew Seattle would be plenty safe on Saturday. “I was thinking Olympia, maybe. . . .” “You’ll like that, Bella.” Charlie was cheerful with relief. “Go get your fill of the city.” “Yeah, Dad. It’ll be great.” With one easy conversation, Alice had cleared my schedule for the battle. Edward returned not much later. He accepted Charlie’s wishes for a nice trip without surprise. He claimed they were leaving early in the morning, and said goodnight before the usual time. Alice left with him. I excused myself soon after they left. “You can’t be tired,” Charlie protested. “A little,” I lied. “No wonder you like to skip the parties,” he muttered. “It takes you so long to recover.” Upstairs, Edward was lying across my bed. “What time are we meeting with the wolves?” I murmured as I went to join him. “In an hour.” “That’s good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep.” “They don’t need as much as you do,” he pointed out. I moved to another topic, assuming he was about to try to talk me into staying home. “Did Alice tell you that she’s kidnapping me again?” He grinned. “Actually, she’s not.” I stared at him, confused, and he laughed quietly at my expression. “I’m the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember?” he said. “Alice is going hunting with the rest of them.” He sighed. “I guess I don’t need to do that now.” “You’rekidnapping me?” He nodded. I thought about that briefly. No Charlie listening downstairs, checking on me every so often. And no houseful of wide-awake vampires with their intrusively sensitive hearing. . . . Just him and me — really alone. “Is that all right?” he asked, concerned by my silence. “Well . . . sure, except for one thing.” “What thing?” His eyes were anxious. It was mind-boggling, but, somehow, he still seemed unsure of his hold on me. Maybe I needed to make myself more clear. “Why didn’t Alice tell Charlie you were leavingtonight ?” I asked. He laughed, relieved. I enjoyed the trip to the clearing more than I had last night. I still felt guilty, still afraid, but I wasn’t terrified anymore. I could function. I could see past what was coming, and almost believe that maybe it would be okay. Edward was apparently fine with the idea of missing the fight . . . and that made it very hard not to believe him when he said this would be easy. He wouldn’t leave his family if he didn’t believe it himself. Maybe Alice was right, and I did worry too much. We got to the clearing last. Jasper and Emmett were already wrestling — just warming up from the sounds of their laughter. Alice and Rosalie lounged on the hard ground, watching. Esme and Carlisle were talking a few yards away, heads close together, fingers linked, not paying attention. It was much brighter tonight, the moon shining through the thin clouds, and I could easily see the three wolves that sat around the edge of the practice ring, spaced far apart to watch from different angles. It was also easy to recognize Jacob; I would have known him at once, even if he hadn’t looked up and stared at the sound of our approach. “Where are the rest of the wolves?” I wondered. “They don’t all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn’t trust us enough to just send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual . . . I guess you could call them his wingmen.” “Jacob trusts you.” Edward nodded. “He trusts us not to try to kill him. That’s about it, though.” “Are you participating tonight?” I asked, hesitant. I knew this was going to be almost as hard for him as being left behind would have been for me. Maybe harder. “I’ll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers.” He shrugged. And a fresh wave of panic shattered my brief sense of confidence. They were still outnumbered. I was making that worse. I stared at the field, trying to hide my reaction. It was the wrong place to look, struggling as I was to lie to myself, to convince myself that everything would work out as I needed it to. Because when I forced my eyes away from the Cullens — away from the image of their play fighting that would be real and deadly in just a few days — Jacob caught my eyes and smiled. It was the same wolfy grin as before, his eyes scrunching the way they did when he was human. It was hard to believe that, not so long ago, I’d found the werewolves frightening — lost sleep to nightmares about them. I knew, without asking, which of the others was Embry and which was Quil. Because Embry was clearly the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back, who sat so patiently watching, while Quil — deep chocolate brown, lighter over his face — twitched constantly, looking like he was dying to join in the mock fight. They weren’t monsters, even like this. They were friends. Friends who didn’t look nearly as indestructible as Emmett and Jasper did, moving faster than cobra strikes while the moonlight glinted off their granite-hard skin. Friends who didn’t seem to understand the danger involved here. Friends who were still somewhat mortal, friends who could bleed, friends who could die. . . . Edward’s confidence was reassuring, because it was plain that he wasn’t truly worried about his family. But would it hurt him if something happened to the wolves? Was there any reason for him to be anxious, if that possibility didn’t bother him? Edward’s confidence only applied to one set of my fears. I tried to smile back at Jacob, swallowing against the lump in my throat. I didn’t seem to get it right. Jacob sprang lightly to his feet, his agility at odds with his sheer mass, and trotted over to where Edward and I stood on the fringe of things. “Jacob,” Edward greeted him politely. Jacob ignored him, his dark eyes on me. He put his head down to my level, as he had yesterday, cocking it to one side. A low whimper escaped his muzzle. “I’m fine,” I answered, not needing the translation that Edward was about to give. “Just worried, you know.” Jacob continued to stare at me. “He wants to know why,” Edward murmured. Jacob growled — not a threatening sound, an annoyed sound — and Edward’s lips twitched. “What?” I asked. “He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, ‘That’s really stupid. What is there to be worried about?’ I edited, because I thought it was rude.” I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused. “There’s plenty to be worried about,” I told Jacob. “Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt.” Jacob laughed his coughing bark. Edward sighed. “Jasper wants help. You’ll be okay without a translator?” “I’ll manage.” Edward looked at me wistfully for one minute, his expression hard to understand, then turned his back and strode over to where Jasper waited. I sat down where I was. The ground was cold and uncomfortable. Jacob took a step forward, then looked back at me, and a low whine rose in his throat. He took another half-step. “Go on without me,” I told him. “I don’t want to watch.” Jacob leaned his head to the side again for a moment, and then folded himself on to the ground beside me with a rumbling sigh. “Really, you can go ahead,” I assured him. He didn’t respond, he just put his head down on his paws. I stared up at the bright silver clouds, not wanting to see the fight. My imagination had more than enough fuel. A breeze blew through the clearing, and I shivered. Jacob scooted himself closer to me, pressing his warm fur against my left side. “Er, thanks,” I muttered. After a few minutes, I leaned against his wide shoulder. It was much more comfortable that way. The clouds moved slowly across the sky, dimming and brightening as thick patches crossed the moon and passed on. Absently, I began pulling my fingers through the fur on his neck. That same strange humming sound that he’d made yesterday rumbled in his throat. It was a homey kind of sound. Rougher, wilder than a cat’s purr, but conveying the same sense of contentment. “You know, I never had a dog,” I mused. “I always wanted one, but Renée’s allergic.” Jacob laughed; his body shook under me. “Aren’t you worried about Saturday at all?” I asked. He turned his enormous head toward me, so that I could see one of his eyes roll. “I wish I could feel that positive.” He leaned his head against my leg and started humming again. And it did make me feel just a little bit better. “So we’ve got some hiking to do tomorrow, I guess.” He rumbled; the sound was enthusiastic. “It might be along hike,” I warned him. “Edward doesn’t judge distances the way a normal person does.” Jacob barked another laugh. I settled deeper into his warm fur, resting my head against his neck. It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be — the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out — than the last few times I’d been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when I’d thought this wolf thing was the cause of its loss. The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon. 20. COMPROMISE EVERYTHING WAS READY. I was packed for my two-day visit with “Alice,” and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of my truck. I’d given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which was exactly as I’d hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Ateara’s boat and invited Charlie down for some open sea fishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves, were staying behind to protect La Push — though they were just children, both of them only thirteen. Still, Charlie would be safer than anyone left in Forks. I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control out of my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The thought was almost comforting. Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best. “For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?” he’d pleaded, unleashing the full force of his eyes on me. “It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you.” That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier said than done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and that would help. There were some things that had changed. For instance, I was ready. I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt and anguish I was feeling now had taught me that much. I’d had a chance to concentrate on this — as I’d gazed at the moon through the clouds and rested against a werewolf — and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part. I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But it wasn’t necessary. I was ready. There was only one missing piece. One piece, because there were some things that hadnot changed, and that included the desperate way I loved him. I’d had plenty of time to think through the ramifications of Jasper and Emmett’s bet — to figure out the things I was willing to lose with my humanity, and the part that I was not willing to give up. I knew which human experience I was going to insist on before I became inhuman. So we had some things to work out tonight. After everything I’d seen in the past two years, I didn’t believe in the wordimpossible anymore. It was going to take more than that to stop me now. Okay, well, honestly, it was probably going to be much more complicated than that. But I was going to try. As decided as I was, I wasn’t surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his house — I didn’t know how to do what I was trying to do, and that guaranteed me some serious jitters. He sat in the passenger seat, fighting a smile at my slow pace. I was surprised that he hadn’t insisted on taking the wheel, but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed.